Do nice guys always finish last?
Well, that depends on the nice guy.
What if you’re a total geek, have absolutely no social skills, no self confidence, and no idea where to start with girls?
Can you still get the girl?
We think so, if you’re willing to follow a few simple guidelines…
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
I am a total geek. Yes, the guy who sits in a computer store drooling, or beating a video game, or basically destroying people on the front in Dungeons and Dragons…
It’s very demoralizing to know that all your good at is blasting people online.
How can a guy like me have good confidence when I know I’m the ultimate geek? I really need your help on this.
— Carl, Colorado
How To Embrace Your Inner Geek And Still Get The Girl!
Perception Is Everything
If you don’t feel confident or portray confidence, no one else is going to pay attention to you. So what you have to do is supercharge your own inner confidence.
Perception is everything. You have to work on how people perceive you, how you look and how you carry yourself.
Before anyone else can accept you, you have to accept yourself for exactly who you are today. No one else has the right to judge you or to tell you that you’re anything less than perfect.
It’s time to embrace what you call your “geekiness”.
Strengthen Your Inner Confidence
The secret to being a good salesman is to believe in the product you are selling. And when you are dating, that product is you…
And when you are dating, that product is you.
You say that you’re a geek, but the way you say it makes it sound like a bad thing.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a geek!
When I think of a geek, I think of someone who’s highly intelligent but generally lacks confidence in their own social skills. You should consider yourself lucky, because you’re either born with intelligence or you’re not. Social skills, on the other hand, can be learned.
The moment you start to truly accept yourself for who you actually are on the inside, others will too. You need to focus on your strengths and accept yourself for who you are. If you try to be someone else you’ll just come across as fake.
Another important point here is that as soon as you stop caring about what other people think and recognize that you are perfect just the way you are, that’s exactly when other people will start to see the real you, rather than just your lack of confidence.
Looks Do Matter
I’m not talking about physical looks and bodily build. I’m talking about paying attention to the way you dress and basic grooming skills. You can be the best looking guy in the world, you can be the smartest guy in the world, but if you look funny and smell funny, forget it! No girl will want to be around you.
So pay attention to how you look and smell.
Dress nice. When you dress nice you feel better, stronger, and more confident. If you’re running around in a t-shirt and sweats and haven’t taken a shower, you feel funky. Right?
Take a shower, shave your face, and put on clean clothes before you leave the house. And actually leave the house for at least an hour a day. Don’t underestimate the power of fresh air.
The question then becomes, do you really know how to dress nice?
If not, consider hiring a professional for one or two sessions to help you look and feel like you think you should. This is a topic that guys often feel weird about and think that only gay guys get help with their wardrobes…
Get over it, and hire a professional!
Beware Of Your Friends
Here’s a big warning: beware of your friends!
If you’ve ever wanted to change anything about your lifestyle – how you walk, talk, dress, or do anything else – then you already know that the biggest obstacle you’ll ever face, and I mean the absolute biggest obstacle, are your friends.
Your closest friends are the ones that you can count on to keep you exactly where you are, to keep you in place. They will do anything to keep you from growing or changing. It’s not because they don’t like you. It’s because they’re afraid that you’ll grow up and leave them behind.
So you have to ask yourself this question…
Do you want listen to your friends and stay exactly where you are – without a girlfriend? Or do you want to “sell out” and get the girl?
We say “Sell Out”. It’s well worth it!