Because of who I am, people ask me for dating advice frequently. I certainly have some favorite tips I like to hand out to those in need. So whether you’ve come back to the dating world after a breakup or divorce, or just after an extended break from romance, try these tips to get you on the right path to finding and maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
- To learn what you DO want, define what you DON’T want. Everyone has some things that are non-negotiable – some people won’t tolerate smoking, others won’t tolerate gambling, and so forth. To learn how to make an effective list of deal-breakers, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.
- Prepare yourself for your new relationship everyday by doing little things to de-clutter your soul. It’s time to start letting go of all those old love letters and photos that only remind you of heartbreak. Start looking toward your future and be ready for love!
- Desperation doesn’t look good on anyone. No matter how desperate you may feel inside, rushing into things at the first sign of chemistry is not likely to end well. Remember the last time you were head-over-heels about someone and did a bunch of stupid things you now wish you hadn’t? This time around you have an opportunity to do things differently: think it through. Something SEEMING perfect is a lot different from it actually BEING perfect.
Attract The Right Kind Of People
- Starting off with “sexy” may seem like a smart move, but is that really how you want people to value you?
- You are a human being, not a product in a display window. Don’t go out there trying to sell who you are.
- Relax and know that there is enough love out there for all of us, plenty to go around and around. So smile! You don’t have to compete with anyone to come out a winner in this game. There’s plenty of love out there that everyone can win.
- Put off that urge to merge until you’ve found out some vital things – what are this person’s relationship goals? Where do they see you fitting into that framework? Jumping into bed is not going to create a foundation if one wasn’t there to begin with.
- You want to aim for a balance in the flow between give and take. You bring certain things to the party to offer; what does the other person bring? Knowing this right from the beginning can help you avoid a situation where you’re doing all the giving all the time, and they’re doing all the taking.
- Aim to be with someone who likes the kind of person you really are. I used to think I would attract a greater number of people by trying to be what I thought people wanted, but the key to finding someone who fit me well was to embrace my true self, and let that shine through to attract the right person!
Be Your Best Self
- Notice how you act and how you feel when you’re around the person you like. Do they bring out your best qualities, or do they bring out some strange things you don’t even recognize as being you? There are some subtle differences between excitement and fear. There’s a difference between feeling energized, invigorated and refreshed, as opposed to anxious, unsure, and insecure.
- Safety and integrity are important – don’t compromise on your core values! Use your common sense and take care.
But the best thing I could ever say to you, the advice that will see you through every trial and tribulation, is the one you can start putting into practice today: Great relationships begin within!