The 9 Booty Call Commandments

A booty call is a relationship and like all relationships, they have their own set of rules. Are you following these nine booty call “laws?”

What She Said:

Thou Shall Keep It Clear

The best way to have fun with a booty call is to clearly define your relationship beforehand. Booty calls, by popular definition, include sex without strings. It’s late night satisfaction – the fast food of sex. So make sure you’re not emotionally attached before picking up that phone.

Thou Shall Be Experimental

Take the opportunity to whip out the Kama Sutra and explore some new positions. When the two of you ultimately transition to other relationships, you’ll have some amazing moves to wow your next lover with.

Thou Shall Be Respectful

Booty calls are for legally consenting adults – so act like one! Though it’s a casual connection, the rules of etiquette still apply. You don’t need to exchange details of your day – but treating each other with kindness is a must.

Thou Shall Use Protection

Booty calls are fun and lighthearted. STD’s and unplanned pregnancies are not – use condoms.

Thou Shall Know When To Let It Go

There will come a time when you’ll need to wrap it up. Booty call arrangements are usually short-lived. If it’s not fun anymore – or one of you has met someone else – it’s time to call it a night.

What He Said

Thou Shall Have An Exit Strategy

These things will not last forever. It will be fun for a while, not a long time. Know this in advance and plan accordingly.

Thou Shall Not Expect Too Much

This isn’t going to go anywhere. Except to the bedroom. It’s not going to turn into something more. It isn’t a deep, profound, spiritual connection. If you go into a movie with super high expectations you’ll probably be very disappointed, why? Because you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you go in with lower, more realistic expectations, then you’re more likely to have a good time and really, really enjoy yourself.

Thou Shall Get Yours

Don’t expect the other person to care about your pleasure. This isn’t love making, this is f**cking. Period. It’s fast and nasty, down and dirty. The person on the other end of the equation isn’t concerned about your feelings or making sure you have a good time, more often than not. If anything, they are concerned about getting theirs. Take ownership of your orgasm and make sure you get it, and then some. Don’t wait for anyone else to make it happen. That’s on you.

Thou Shall Not Be Unrealistic

Yes, they are probably going to be having sex with other people. No, it won’t last forever. Yes, it will end badly (if you don’t end it first). What do you expect? It’s a booty call. You can’t accept a collect call from Cambodia and then be shocked when you get your phone bill. Take ownership and accountability. You made the call or at least you answered it. There’s an upside and a downside. Weigh the pluses and minus and act accordingly


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