The first date can be nerve wracking, because you’re just not sure what you’re going to say. Keeping the conversation going between you... continue reading
The first date can be nerve wracking, because you’re just not sure what you’re going to say. Keeping the conversation going between you and a girl isn’t always easy. Here’s how to make the first date go smoothly.
At A Loss For Words?
So say you mustered up the courage to go and approach a girl you find attractive, and she responded well and is engaged in conversation with you, but then all of a sudden you find yourself at a loss for words, and now you are digging for any topic that may keep conversation going. This is a common problem with many men when interacting with women but by simply changing the way you view the interaction can bring your conversation skills through the roof.
Have A Genuine Interest In Her
The number one important thing to finding what to discuss is actually having a genuine interest in the girl you are conversing with. When people try to improve their abilities to converse with and attract the opposite sex, they seem to view many conversations as “practice” and just being able to hold a conversation for an extended period of time becomes the goal at had.
You need to remove yourself from this mindset and make sure your focus is in the right place. If you are focusing on what to say next, there is a good chance you are not listening to or taking in what the girl has to say. Instead always keep your focus on the girl and keep the mindset that you WANT to find more about this person. Every girl you converse with should spark intrigue in you, this will make you ask genuine questions hat lead to genuine answers.
Find Common Ground First
To establish a strong string of conversation, there are two ways you should view the way the conversation you are having. First off, your number one goal with all of this is to find a commonality between the two of you, that is when natural conversation emerges, when you are both discussing something similar you share. The best way to do this is by asking questions that appeal to the girl on an emotional level.
Really Get To Know Her
Instead of just asking one generic question after the other, dig deeper because you actually care to get to know this girl. Ask questions that ask how she feels about that subject, or why she associates with it, or how she plans on engaging what you are discussing. It is like being a good sports reporter. You will never hear the reporter ask simply what the athlete did to score the touchdown, instead they ask how the athlete feels after scoring it. All questions you ask should come from your own expressive curiosity in the girl, only ask things you actually care about.
Listen To What She Is Saying
Next, when the girl is responding to your questions, you want to be listening with an active appreciation for what she is saying. Be happy that this girl is taking the time to open up to you and listen to everything she is saying. Do not worry about what to say next but simply take in her response, if you have gotten her on a semi-emotional level, you will naturally want to respond by opening up about something in your life, which becomes the basis for your first commonality/connection, making the rest of the conversation go very smoothly.
Once You’ve Achieved An Emotional Connection
You have the opportunity to create a connection because you have gotten her on the emotional level, there are so many ways to respond once the girl reaches this state of conversation. For example you could discuss where you lived when you were young, your experiences at the beach, or your favorite childhood memory. Just remember to open up on an emotional conversational level after the girl does and a strong bond will be made, cementing your first conversation on a level like no other.