Although not having sex on the first date seems to be the golden rule of dating, many men and women still end up in the sack after a dinner, a movie and just a few hours or less to get to know each other.
Are you setting yourself up for first date failure if you hop in bed right away? You bet!
The Dreaded Booty Calls
You might have or have had a few people on your speed dial who were good for one and only one thing, a booty call, but do you really want to be that person on someone else’s speed dial? No way!
If you go on a first date that ends up at your apartment or theirs, you’re setting yourself up to become their booty call of the future. Worse, if the sex was bad, they probably won’t call you at all. Think about that before you strip down to your skivvies after the first date!
Ruining Your Shot At A Real Relationship
To some people, being a booty call every once in a while isn’t a big deal and it doesn’t end up being a deterrent not to have sex on the first date. However, if you really like a person and want to try to develop a real relationship with them, you are definitely ruining your chance at that if you end up in bed together right after your first dinner.
Having sex with someone, whether it’s on the first date, the third or the 27th date, halts the “getting to know you” process. After that point, it truly becomes a sexual relationship for awhile. If it lasts long enough, you and your partner will find a balance between spending time with each other sexually and spending time with each other outside of the bedroom.
Nevertheless, for a good period of time, you and your partner will be fairly focused on sex as you discover each other in a new way.
The Implications of Rushing It
If you rush into it, the getting to know you process will become obsolete and often leads to problems later in the relationship if there ever ends up being a relationship at all.
If you want a real shot at trying to build a relationship with someone, your best bet is to spend as long as possible getting to know their personality and their interests before you get to know their body.
Keeping It In Your Pants
Even if you’re with the hottest person on the face of the planet, having even just a little self control will definitely work to your benefit. You can avoid becoming just a booty call and you can even give yourself a shot at a real relationship.
When the time is right for sex, both you and your partner will feel it and it will most likely be better than either of you ever expected! Having sex too soon though, especially on the first date, will just end up sabotaging the whole dating process. Don’t waste your time!
Editor’s Note: this video and article represent the position of today’s guest and don’t necessarily reflect the opinion of Ask Dan & Jennifer. Generally speaking, having sex on the 1st date (or 2nd or 3rd) is not necessarily a problem. Each person, each couple, and each situation is different, so it’s important to follow what is right for you (age appropriate of course).