Online Dating Question – I’m a Good Catch. Are all the Women in My Area Stupid?

The Question

I need someone to help me try to stand out. There is no one around here that can help me. That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH! - Phil in Illinois

The Honest Answer

We’ll respond to the last part of Phil’s question first and then tell you a few quick tips to really make your online profile stand out from all the other guys on any dating site.

Part 1: “…That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH!”

When you’re trying to appeal to another person , i.e. to attract that really cute girl, take a look at yourself from her perspective, and figure out what would be attractive and what is important to her. Take the time to write down all of your best qualities “from her perspective”. At that point it’s about her, not about you.

Maybe you’re coming across as a little too strong (read: arrogant). Many women like subtle confidence but not arrogance. You need to be sure of yourself without offending her.

Focus on your best qualities in your headline and online profile details. Also – and this is VERY important – remember that every person is a unique individual, with distinct preferences and tastes. What is a “great catch” to one person could be a turn off to another person, and vice versa. Be careful of assuming that other people perceive things the same way you do – that’s rarely the case and will often get you into trouble, especially with women.

Part 2: “I need someone to help me try to stand out…”

Here are some simple things that you can do to REALLY stand out among all of the other men on any dating site.

Upload a Quality Photo

We will continue to hammer on this one until every guy out there gets it! Most men do not upload their photo and the fact is that profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without. And get this, profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more looks than profiles with poor photos.

The key word here is QUALITY PHOTO. That’s where most men who do upload a photo really mess up. They upload a poor grainy photo, or worse yet, they upload a photo with their ex-girlfriend scribbled out. If you don’t like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile. This is the single biggest thing you can do to stand out!

Write a Catchy Headline

When it comes to writing an online profile, it is easy to make the mistake of not paying enough attention to your headline. Most people will click on a profile with a catchy headline just to see what the person has to say next.

The whole purpose of your headline is to get the other person to want to know more about you. Your headline should be something special about you, but still make them curious. You’re trying to get them to want to read more of your profile, so it helps to either ask a question that the reader might think will be answered in the profile, or try and establish a sense of mystery.

Have a well -written, intriguing profile

Writing about your self in paragraph form can be a very daunting task. What do I say? Where do I begin? Why are they making me do this? First, take a deep breath and relax. Taking the time to write a good profile will attract more compatible women to your profile and save you a lot of wasted time and energy in the end. There are some basic and simple rules that can make the process much easier.

Be yourself. Honesty is the Best Policy . Even though it may be tempting to fudge a little bit on your weight, your age, or your marital status, the best way to ensure that you will find the person that you are looking for is to BE HONEST!

Write like you speak. Be yourself. Sure, you’re trying to put your best foot forward, but you’re also trying to find someone who likes you for who you really are.

Target your market. Don’t talk “leather and whips” when your looking for true romance at eHarmony and in the same respect, don’t use words like “true love” when you are looking for a one-night stand at Adult Friend Finder.

Be specific. Avoid generalities. Use concrete examples from your life. Instead of saying “I like football,” you can say “I like watching the Dallas Cowboys on Monday night at my favorite sports bar. You can see how that says so much more about you. What things are most important to you in life? Is it health, career, family, fun, learning, religion, or personal development? The things you choose to prioritize say a lot about who you are; including them in your profile will attract the right type of woman to you and lead others away.

Don’t forget to spell check . Nothing is worse than reading a profile that starts with “maybe your the one for me” or something worse. (In case you didn’t catch that it should be ” you’re” instead of “your”.) Sure, we’re not all perfect, but that squiggly red line under half of your text is there for a reason.


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