More and more people are using the Internet to meet people, and with inventions such as Skype, web cams and audio chatting, it can... continue reading
More and more people are using the Internet to meet people, and with inventions such as Skype, web cams and audio chatting, it can sometimes be like you’re in the same room with someone. But is web camming only good for sexy hookups, or can real relationships be built from online introductions?
Hi, I have a question. I’ve been web camming with this guy for like a month and a few weeks now. We are going to meet soon, but I am worried that it’s too much sex. We will probably have sex on the first date, is this bad? I know you said intimacy can be at any time, but is the first date too soon? Can relationships come out of hook ups?
Decide What You Want
Do you want a sex-only relationship with this person? A hookup or a quickie, or a friend with benefits? Because that’s what you’re setting yourself up for. If that’s what you’re looking for, then go for it! But if you’re looking for a relationship to come out of your web camming and chatting, you need to let your friend know. Don’t lead him into thinking he’s got a booty call relationship now, if you want something more from it. Let him know that you like him and want to take it further. See if he’s on the same page.
A Relationship With Your Own Fantasy
Often, when we develop relationships with people online, our brains are filling in the gaps that a normal, face to face relationship wouldn’t have. You aren’t truly getting to know this person, their mannerisms and their personality – you are only getting to know one facet of them. Instead of taking that for what it is though, our brains are really good at inventing what we don’t know. Therefore, you truly are getting to “know” this fantasy version you have of this person instead of getting to know the real person. That can lead to a great deal of let down later on when you really do meet and get to know them. You’re most likely subconsciously creating a fantasy version of your friend that he or she could never possibly live up to.
Taking It Slow
If you’re looking to begin a real relationship with this person, take it slow when you meet them face to face. While you may be tempted to have sex on the first date, especially if you’ve been “intimate” with them before online, this is only going to label the relationship as being about sex. Get to know your partner just as though you were getting to know someone you met for the first time in person. Just because you and your friend have chatted and web cammed online, doesn’t mean you two know each other a great deal more than two people who just met. Treat the relationship that way and take it slow if you want it to develop into something more. If you’re simply looking for a quick, sexy hookup, have fun and be safe!