Online dating, or online introductions, really, opens you up to contact with people of all different shapes, sizes, ages and walks of life. You’ll meet different types of people that you probably would never have met otherwise, and exploring this can be really fun.
What should you do if you happen to find yourself interested in older men online? Should you respond?
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
I am an 18-and-a-half year old female who is considering heightening my age limit for dating and having sex with men to 28 or 29. I am a very mature and intellectual person. I recently joined an online dating site and several very nice, well-educated and well-endowed men who are 10 years older than me have messaged me and I’m debating whether I should talk to them or not. Is a 10 year gap when you’re 18-and-a-half always something to avoid or can it be okay?
– Sarah in California
The Age Gap
As long as you’re a legal adult, you’re definitely free to date anyone you choose that is, as long as they’re a legal adult as well. Beyond that, there’s really nothing keeping you from finding interest in older men online, or even in real life, except your own needs, wants and expectations.
That said, it’s important to explore how you feel about a huge age gap between someone you are interested in online. Does it make you uncomfortable in any way? Might it make the other person uncomfortable? Are you all for it, or do you have some reservations?
Actually sitting down and really thinking about the possibility of dating someone online and even having a real life relationship with someone a lot older than you can lend some insight into the situation. This isn’t a decision that you want to make quickly or lightly, but if it’s something you really want, go for it! Just make sure you’re really ready and you’ve thought everything through first.
Different Levels Of Maturity
Sure, many women are more mature than men at an earlier age. Who doesn’t know that? But something you definitely want to consider is how very different your life can be from a man that is a lot older than you.
For example, you might never have attended college, but your dating prospect might have been through college, graduated and is divorced with two kids. It’s important to consider what you are looking for when you’re introducing yourself to other people online.
What Are You Looking For?
Are you looking for a casual relationship only? Then dating a man that is divorced with two kids might not necessarily be an issue for you. If you’re looking for something long term, or want to consider the possibility of building a real relationship with someone, it’s definitely important to think about the differences you might have.
You may find that it’s hard to relate to older men, simply because your lives are so different at the particular age you are each at. Then again, you might find it easier to relate to them if you have been through some similar situations.
You will probably want to get to know them a little bit online before meeting them, just to find out if you really have any similar ground to stand on.
Simply put, you just need to think it through. Spend plenty of time thinking about what your wants and needs are when it comes to online dating and dating an older man, and spend plenty of time talking to your dating prospect online to get to know each other before you make a big leap into any kind of relationship.
As with anything, just make sure it’s something you really want and go from there.