Can These Pick Up Lines Get You Laid?

When you think of a guy using “pick up lines,” you probably envision some slimy wanna-be Casanova, his shirt unbuttoned to reveal a gold chain and a furry chest. As a Barry White song plays on the soundtrack, he prowls the bar for a woman desperate (or drunk) enough to accompany him back to his lair.

He approaches a woman, eyes her up and down, like a hungry jackal eyeballing a slab of meat and delivers a cheesy pick up line that causes her to roll her eyes (or throw her martini in his face).

I’m talking about pick up lines like these:

Cheesy Pick Up Lines

“Somebody better call God, because he’s missing an angel. So what time do you have to be back in heaven?”

“Sorry lady, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.”

“I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.”

“Can I borrow a quarter? [What for?] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the woman of my dreams.”

“Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

“I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?”

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.”

“Your legs must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all night.”

“If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.”

“I was so mesmerized by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”

Cute Pick Up Lines

Not all pick up lines are THAT cheesy. There are a few that women may actually find your flirting charming or flattering — IF you follow them up correctly (which I’ll explain how to do in a moment).

“If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.”

“Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?”

“Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my back? A little kid with wings just shot me.”

“What does it feel like to be the cutest girl in the room?” (Note: Don’t use this pick up line on women who are extremely hot and KNOW it. This one is effective on a girl who is attractive, but is clearly NOT the best-looking girl in the place.)

And then, there’s another category of pick up lines. I call these…

Pick Up Lines That Might Get You Kicked In The Groin

Use this last category of pick up lines with extreme caution. While they might get a good reaction (particularly if she’s a drunken nymphomaniac), you’re equally likely to get hit. (Especially if her boyfriend the UFC fighter happens to be standing nearby.) Like I said, be careful…

“Do you know what has 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? [What?] My zipper.”

“That outfit would look great…in a crumpled heap next to my bed.”

“That’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open?”

The Truth About Pick Up Lines

So are pick up lines something to be mocked? Would any REAL pick up artist deign to use them? Well, I’ve written several guides to picking up women, which teach many different creative approaches to starting conversations with girls. And personally, I think pick up lines are usually way too obvious.

Normally, my rule of thumb is to use “under the radar” openers. This means you use a clever, unexpected comment or question to capture her interest and engage her in a conversation WITHOUT signalling that you’re hoping to get her into bed. Essentially, you’re “breaking the ice” in a way that feels natural and casual.

For example, you might ask for her opinion on an unexpected topic — one that women are naturally going to have strong feelings about.

The Anti-Pick Up Line: Going “Under The Radar”

Example #1: “Hey, help me settle a debate I’m having with my friends. How long do you need to be dating someone before you change your status on Facebook from “single” to “in a relationship?” Because my friend Jennifer has been going out with a guy for a month and SHE thinks it’s an exclusive thing, but he hasn’t changed his “single” status and she’s wondering if she should say something.”

Example #2: “Quick question — would you allow your boyfriend to go to a bachelor party if you knew there were going to be strippers there? Because my friend Jennifer is sort of freaking out about this right now.”

These openers are great because they’re based on what I call relationship “grey areas.” Men and women tend to have their own ideas about what’s allowed in a relationship, and what is unacceptable. Another example: is it “cheating” if a guy hangs out with his ex-girlfriend socially, without telling his current girlfriend?

The bottom line is, a good opener is going to make her WANT to respond. And if you’re a confident, playful guy, this one always gets a fun reaction:

“Do I look gay? Because this dude was TOTALLY hitting on me in the men’s room a minute ago. Be honest — is it my shirt?” (Or, “is it the way my butt looks in these jeans?”)

My book Mack Tactics contains dozens of other funny, effective approaches that you can use with women. I wouldn’t classify any of them as pick up lines. But does this mean pick up lines are, by definition, a bad thing?

The answer is no. I’ve actually used some of the pick up lines I mentioned above, and they led to a conversation and a successful result (either I got her phone number and saw her again, or had sex with her that night).

It was because I poked fun at the fact that I had USED a pick up line! After delivering it, I followed up with “I know that TOTALLY sounded like a pick up line, but I want to talk to you for a minute and I couldn’t think of what else to say. My name’s Dean.”

Then from that point, I used my usual tactics – I asked a few “strategic” questions to get her in a fun mindset, and sharing information about herself. I used techniques like “Cold Reads” and “Hypotheticals” and at all times, I stayed in control of the interaction and guided it down the correct path.

Sometimes the world’s cheesiest pick up line can be a FUN way to start things off. It’s all about knowing how to transition into the conversation, and never taking yourself too seriously.

And in a pinch, you can always use this one:

“You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pick up line.”


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