What we will be doing, however, is looking at some examples of male body language which, once adopted by a man, have been shown to increase his appearance as being confident, self-assured, relaxed and masculine which, together, make him more attractive to the opposite sex.
Let’s start with movement.
The way we men move says a couple of different things about us. First, there’s the movement we’re making. What is the purpose of the movement? What is the motivation behind it? Then there is the way the movement is performed.
For example, a guy is sitting within a group of people in a bar and they are all talking to one another. He leans towards the table to pick up his drink and take a sip of it. That is the movement. Now what is the motivation behind it? He could be thirsty. More importantly, how does he make the movement?
He leans forward quickly, grabs the drink, takes a quick sip, then leans back to place the glass on the table once more. The movement lasted about 3 seconds. After witnessing the movement, the chances are that a woman would conclude the man reached for his drink not because he was thirsty, but because he was nervous.
How does she know this? From the way he made the movement. It was hurried, not calm. He did it while he wasn’t speaking, to give himself something to do and thereby reduce his internal anxiety.
This is the kind of thing you need to avoid when you are talking to a woman you want to attract. Remember the following:
Bear economy of movement in mind. To look relaxed, calm and confident, you need to only move for a good reason. It’s obviously fine to reach for your drink, or stretch out your legs, etc., as long as you are making the movement for a good reason and not one born out of feeling nervous and anxious.
Before you make the movement, briefly consider why you’re making it. You’ll probably be shocked at the number of times you catch yourself about to do something whose only purpose is to relieve some of your internal tension.
You’ll want to put your hands in your pockets, hold your drink in front of your chest, fiddle with the straw in your drink, touch your face for no reason…be aware of and control how often you move and the reasons you make movements.
Think about how you move
After considering why you move, think about how you should move. Don’t rush movements. Don’t hurry or look like you want to get the movement over with, as to not draw attention to yourself.
At the same time, don’t drag the movement out for too long. Taking 20 seconds to reach for your drink will either make you look like a sloth or a show-off. Find the middle-ground. Controlled and calm, not slow.
Are you being open or closed?
Exhibiting closed body language makes you look:
- Socially inexperienced
Some examples of closed body language are: crossing your arms, crossing your legs under your seat, holding your drink in front of your chest, pursing your lips, making very few positive facial expressions, keeping your arms firmly tucked into your sides, clenching your fists. Avoid all of these, plus any other similar examples you can think of. Instead:
- Lean back in your seat a little bit
- Stretch out your legs a little way in front of you (do not overcompensate by lying back almost horizontally though)
- Express how you feel using lots of different, natural facial expressions
- Smile a lot, but not so much that it looks like you’re faking relaxedness (avoid the glued-on smile look)
The more open your body language is, the more women will feel that you’re approachable, friendly and non-threatening. In other words, the more they’ll want to interact with you.
You should use the positioning of your body to show women how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Your body positioning, when used properly, acts as a powerful partner alongside your verbal language.
For example, to signal that you are feeling relaxed and self-assured you can casually lean on the wall or the back of your seat. You won’t look bored as long as your facial expressions are right. Then, you can use your body positioning to show a sudden interest in something the woman has just said.
You hear what she says that really interests you, then you stand up straight away from the wall, or lean forward in your seat and say, “No way…you mean he actually said that to EVERYONE?!” or whatever is appropriate.
This is one example of how you can use your body positioning to give the woman the impression (hopefully an honest one) that you are truly engaged in the conversation and confident enough to show it. You react in a FULL way, with your body AND your words.
This is what in turn animates the woman. She feels comfortable enough to move her body too as you talk. After a while, you’ll find yourselves in motion as you talk.
You’ll move towards each other as you talk about something secretive or private, or move away from one another when one of you says something flirty or teasing (you’ll move away in a “I can’t believe you just said that!” way…the best way).
Hopefully you are now starting to see how YOUR body language can directly affect how a woman feels about you. Control it in the right way and it’ll have the greatest effect: she’ll see you as a confident, interesting, relaxed and… sexually ATTRACTIVE man.