It’s pretty much the classic ‘pick-up’ scenario. A guy gets talking to a girl in a nightclub or a bar and they hit it off. Their conversation is fun and flirty and at the end of it they swap phone numbers. This is what most people picture when they think of ‘picking up women’.
In reality, it is one of the most common ways for men and women to meet each other, because clubs are social venues, people are dressed their best and the drink is flowing.
How To Successfully Date a Woman You Meet In a Club
Do You Know How To Successfully Attract and Date Women You Meet In a Club?
How to attract and date a woman after meeting her in a nightclub or bar (original author title)
So, if you’re a guy who goes to nightclubs and bars, you should consider the possibility of meeting and attracting a woman in one of these places as a high one.
However, it’s pretty obvious you’ll never see any success unless you make a conscious effort to approach and talk to women you’ve never met before while in one of these social environments. So, what should the process of attracting a woman go like and how can you then date the woman you’ve attracted? Let’s take a look.
Before you utter your first words to a woman in a bar or nightclub, you need to scope the place out. Of course, this doesn’t mean sitting in the bushes outside the place with some binoculars. Scoping means looking around you and getting a sense of what is going on.
- How many different groups of people are there nearby that contain one or more attractive females you’d like to meet? Just a couple? Dozens?
- What does the dynamic of each of those groups seem to be like? Do they look like they’re having a good time? Are they animated or looking bored?
- Are their any guys in the groups and do those guys look like they are the boyfriends of the girls? (If so, you should obviously respect that and look elsewhere.)
You should always do some scoping before approaching to get an idea of what you’re facing. Higher energy groups will require you to exhibit higher energy levels when you enter them, for example.
Bigger groups containing lots of girls will require you to engage all or most of them when you open, otherwise one or two girls could feel like you’re distracting them from their friends. You get the idea.
2. Approaching & Opening
This step is a tough one for most men, perhaps the toughest. It takes real balls to go up to a group of people and insert yourself into it uninvited. But that is what you must do. If you approach it (them) in the right way, it’ll go well.
You can’t hang around when approaching a group; you need to just head straight in there and use your opener. If they see you lurking nearby, clearly contemplating the idea of talking to them, they’ll see you as a threat or a distraction. Your chances of opening successfully will be shot.
Don’t run at them and barge your way in though. Just walk by, stop, turn to them (but don’t face them straight on, make it like you’re half about to keep on walking) and use your opener. Wait for a silence (or the best time to start talking), but don’t stand there waiting for 5 minutes for the perfect opportunity. As soon as one or two of them turn to look at you, start speaking…”Do you think it’s cool for a guy to carry an umbrella?”
Smile. Let them respond. The more positively they respond, the more you should turn to face them. Walk a little closer and create a bit of controversy to keep them hooked. “No way! I didn’t expect you to say that. [Turning to your target]You …maybe.”
When you see that they’re partially hooked (they’re smiling, facing you, talking in a lively way) you need to integrate yourself into the group more. Ask them to introduce you to their friends, etc. Go from there.
3. Conversation & Flirting
From this point onwards you need to gradually flirt with one or more of the girls and keep your flirting in proportion to the positive signals they are giving you which suggest they are attracted to you. If you flirt too much too soon, they will be put off. If you fail to flirt enough, things will go cold. Be economical. Drop in just a few really good examples of teasing as opposed to lots of weaker ones more often.
Closing means one of the following:
- Getting her number
- Giving her your number
The worst on that list is giving her your number but not getting hers. Avoid that. You should aim to swap numbers. Try to do this a long while before you go your separate ways. Don’t leave it until you’re just about to leave the nightclub and return to your respective homes, because it’s more likely to feel weird that way. Keep it casual.
Right after you both crack up laughing at something (a really high energy, positive moment), say, “You’re great. We should swap numbers.” Say that as you take out your phone, as if it’s a done deal…and she’ll happily comply.
5. Arrange Your Second Interaction
Forget all that nonsense about waiting 72 hours or 48 hours or two weeks or whatever it is before calling or texting the girl you’ve attracted and swapped numbers with. You’re in control. You’re a high value male, remember. Send her a text the next day which references something stupid or funny you did or said together when you first met.
This will give her the same positive emotional response when reading the text that she had that night. Enter into a short exchange of fun/teasing texts. After a while, text “You’re being very rude. When you are going to invite me for a candlelit dinner by the riverside?” It’s a playful joke, but it gets the message across in the right way.
As you can see, meeting, attracting and beginning to date a woman can be approached in a systematic way, but it’s very important that you remember what makes dating GOOD. You need to be genuine, with good intentions. Don’t be someone else; be the best version of yourself.