Seduction requires escalation to a sexual relationship. If you don’t escalate, the conversation will stay in “neutral” (and possibly fizzle out) when you need to be shifting to a higher gear. Escalation is about sexualizing the interaction. You’re basically signaling to her: I’m a man. You’re a woman. And I’m a confident, masculine guy who can give you a great orgasm.
Remember what I said before about the importance of leading women. They love it when a guy they’re attracted to starts leading them down the path towards sex, instead of just pretending to be their “friend.”
Consider a typical interaction between a guy and a girl he meets at a bar. He might have strong “conversation game” and be able to entertain her for a while with funny questions, interesting stories, etc.
Flirt From The Start!
If a guy never starts flirting and taking the interaction in a sexual direction, her attraction to him is not going to grow. In her mind, he’s just another “nice guy” who she may enjoy talking to, but she’s not imagining anything happening beyond that. The guys I know who are super-successful with women are great at being a flirt.
Strippers know they are hot; their entire job revolves around looking as hot as possible in order to make money. So while you don’t want to sit there paying her compliments about how beautiful she is, you should let her know (at the right stage) that you’re into her sexually and this isn’t just a chat between two buddies.
Don’t tell her that she’s beautiful, but do give her signs that you’re into her sexually (once you’re deep into building comfort and attraction). Flirting means doing this in a playful way that isn’t weird or creepy.
Escalation is the bridge that takes you from the conversation/comfort stage to the seduction. When a guy doesn’t escalate and suddenly “puts a move” on a girl (like trying to hold her hand, or inviting her back to his place), it feels awkward and forced.
The classic example is the guy who takes a girl on a date, and keeps his hands to himself all night, just making small talk. Then, when he drops her off at her house at the end of the date, he tries to get a goodnight kiss and she turns her head and offers her cheek.
If he had escalated during the date, the goodnight kiss would have been assured. And maybe a lot more. So, you’ll escalate at the strip club in two ways: physical and verbal. These can happen at the same time.
Establish Body Contact
Physical escalation means establishing (subtle) body contact. It’s important for her to get used to your touch, and for you to show her that you can touch her and still control yourself.
In a strip club, this can take some self-discipline. When you’re sitting with a half-naked stripper with fake breasts nearly popping out of her bra, and she’s perfectly willing to sit on your lap and cuddle with you (in order to sell you dances), it’s easy—and tempting—to let her initiate the contact and go along with it.
Instead, you should playfully deflect her early attempts to touch you. (“Whoa, you’re frisky. Don’t treat me like a prom date, ok—not until I get to know you better, at least.)
You’ll be the one to touch her. And you’ll do it in a subtle “invisible” way that never makes her feel uncomfortable, or makes you seem like a customer who wants to cop a feel. By the way, when it comes to making body contact, the fact that a strip club is loud works to your advantage. It gives you a reason to sit close to her and lean in when you speak.
When you agree with something she is saying, and you want to tell her your thoughts, lean in and touch her lightly on the knee as you talk. Caress her knee very gently, then move your hand away.
As you do a “Cold Read,” lean in and touch her hand. Look straight into your eyes as you do this. This heightens the effect.
If you’re telling her something “personal” or sharing an “inside joke,” lean in and whisper it into her ear. Touch her lightly on the forearm. This is an intimate act that will give her goose bumps if done correctly.
If she says something funny (or something you think is totally cool), give her a high-five and clasp her hand in yours for a moment, then let it go. Build the contact.
Keep Your Touches Brief
When the conversation is real, so is the effect of your physical touches. If you haven’t successfully built comfort with her, then any touching that goes on is just typical stripper-customer behavior. Start subtly making contact with her—at the right time—and you’re injecting sexual energy into the interaction.
The trick is to keep your touches brief. The idea is to make her miss your touches. This is what sexual tension is all about: she’s starting to get that horny, tingling feeling and she wants you to touch and caress her more, but you’re only giving it to her in small doses.
When you do this correctly with a woman, the anticipation of your next touch can drive her wild. She might start grabbing you! (This is when you gently ease her away and play “hard to get.”)