A break up isn’t fun for either partner, but sometimes it’s just necessary. Here’s how to break up with someone the right way &... continue reading
A break up isn’t fun for either partner, but sometimes it’s just necessary. Here’s how to break up with someone the right way & minimize hurt feelings.
What She Said About The Right Way To Break Up:
Breaking up is never easy but if you want to do it the “right” way you need to be completely honest with the other person. This honesty needs to happen face to face also. So don’t be the ass who broke up with someone via text or email. I don’t care if the relationship was short lived, be respectful and end it like an adult. If you are done with the relationship then you need to save both of you time and pain and end it. Sort of like ripping off a band aid, don’t draw it out.
When you draw it out by asking for space or time to think you are just making things worse and you know you want to end it but are just trying to be nice. You have to end it and be done with it all the while you need to give the person your reasoning for ending it. Don’t leave them questioning what they could or should have done different or make them question your reasons for ending it. Be honest about why you are breaking up. It might not be easy and it might hurt, but it’s a hell of a lot easier to tell the truth then leave them hanging with no clear reason of the break up. It hurts when you hurt someone you care about but in the long run it would hurt even more if you lied to them just to protect their ego.
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Long Term Relationships
If you are ending a long term relationship, be prepared for a lot more hurt and be prepared to have solid reasons why you are instigating the break up. Do not give them the line “It’s not you, its me” because it’s them, everyone knows it’s them. After you do break up, you need to have the courtesy to return their stuff, anything that belongs to them that they left at your place.
Then rid your self of things that remind you of them. I am not a follower of feng shui but it makes sense that personal items can illicit emotions and holding on to their items might bring negative energy into your life. So go ahead and throw away their tooth brush and any other mementos that serve no purpose.
When it comes to social media like Facebook, it might be best to “hide” them from your feed and do not overly boast about your newly singleness. You can easily hide your own relationship status from your feed without having to declare that you are single. Also, cut off your communication with them and do not text or call. Your ex will need time to heal from the break up, to cry, to be sad, to be mad, etc. and since you are the cause of these emotions, you can no longer be a shoulder to cry on.
Short Term Relationships
If you are ending a short term relationship you still need to give your ex the same respect, but you don’t need to be so dramatic about it. Yes give them a reason why you are breaking up, but honestly you don’t need to worry too much about hurting them. You should still not make a big deal about the breakup on Facebook. If it was a short term relationship, you shouldn’t worry about taking new pics with other guys or being out and loving being single.
You might even want to consider defriending the person if you two don’t have many ties (e.g. similar friends). It can still be messy but just take into account their feelings and try not to destroy them. On that note, do not even mention being “just friends” that may come in time but if you just broke the heart of a person who cared for you, you need to distance yourself and do it fast.
The main idea here is whether you were in a long term or short term relationship, if you have fallen out of love, met someone else or no longer love your partner the same way that you used to and want to end it, then end it. Put your foot down and break up. This is for your sake and for their sake too.
What He Said About The Right Way To Break Up:
Think of it as what it is: you’re firing someone. HR doesn’t give you a long drawn out emotional speech. They state the reasons, quickly and simply. It’s the bullet points they give you, not the in depth explanation. You don’t need it anyway, you already know what’s going on. They hand you your last check and then escort you out of the building. It’s not painless, it’s just as painless as possible.
That’s the way your break up should be. If you have their stuff, hand it to them when you break up, or just mail it back. Tell them simply and efficiently why it’s over. Then walk away or end the call. Less is more. The whole process should take no longer than five minutes. It may seem harsh, but it’s not. You’re just being professional about it and no one is really going to want this drawn out anyway.