Break Ups: When Is The Right Time To End A Relationship?


Break ups are tough for both people involved, so it’s easy to want to prolong the end of a relationship as long as possible. Sometimes relationships can resemble roller coasters—they’re up one minute and down the next. Even the most well adjusted couple you know has had or will have a rough patch at some point. So how can you tell the difference between a tough week and the final dissolution of your romance? Keeping track of the changes and shifts in your relationship can help you determine what’s for a moment and what’s for an eternity.

Define The Problem At Hand

Maybe things haven’t been so great lately, and you’re starting to wonder if you and your significant other are really meant to be together after all. Before you kick their heart to the curb, ask yourself what the problem is. Have you been arguing constantly? Do you feel restless in the relationship and bored by your partner? Has your partner been avoiding you or acting disinterested? All of these can be reasons to end your relationship, but you have to understand what’s behind the problem before you can make the ultimate call. Break ups are never something you want to rush into.

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If some other terrible life event has recently occurred, that may be at the root of your issues. If you or your partner has fallen ill, lost a job, had a family member die, etc., one of you may be taking out your problems on the other person. Though all these things can be pretty tragic, it’s highly likely that you’ll both be enjoying happier times within a few weeks or months. If you’ve got major stress, realize that it could be making you more easily annoyed with your partner, or vice versa. Don’t let that inform your overall view of your relationship.

Just try to be patient and supportive of each other. Remind yourself that this dark period won’t last forever. More importantly, try to remind yourself that you love this person, and they aren’t responsible for the other bad incidents in your life. Misplaced blame will only hurt you both.

Have You Fallen Out Of Love?

What if there isn’t some unrelated reason for the discord in your lives? If you find yourself bored with your significant other and wishing you could get back out in the dating world, you probably have fallen out of love. Break ups due to falling out of love aren’t as hurtful, especially if your partner feels the same way. Sometimes two people are just ready to move on. The same goes for constant, pointless arguing. You or your mate may be picking fights in an attempt to cause a break up, possibly even on a subconscious level. Don’t drag things out if that’s true. Make a clean break of it and save yourselves a lot of trouble. Long, slow break ups are the most painful kind there is.

How To Tell If You Should Really Break Up

Still having trouble determining whether this is an acute or chronic problem? The ultimate test to determine whether you should really end it is to simply imagine a future without your significant other. If you can easily visualize yourself dating other people and ending up with someone else, then you’ve reached the breaking point. If you find it nearly impossible to imagine a life without your mate, then you still love them. That’s an indicator that you’ve hit a rough patch, but you want to work through it.

If so, talk to your partner more and try to get at the underlying problem. Work toward a solution together. If your partner isn’t helpful, however, you may have to accept that they’re passive-aggressively angling for a break up. Difficult as it may be, you should probably end things. It may be painful at first, since you still care for your mate, but you shouldn’t try to force a miserable relationship to work. In the end, you’ll both be happier for it, even though break ups hurt at first.

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