Q&A: Long Distance Relationship – I Cheated! Now What?


Long distance relationships are hard on both people. While it’s easy to communicate with each other via phone, text, chat or video cam, what lacks in a long distance relationship is physical intimacy. Humans crave physical intimacy, and many people in long distance relationships become unfaithful because they simply need to be touched. Here’s how to handle long distance relationship infidelity.

Question: I’m in a serious relationship with my current boyfriend. The thing is, I’m here in the US and he’s in England. It wasn’t always like that, we were physically together not too long ago. Anyway, in his absence I’ve been unfaithful and now I feel really guilty and bad about it. He doesn’t know, and I’m wondering if I should I tell him? And if so, should I wait until we meet up again or through the Internet medium?

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Was It A One Time Affair?

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Many people make the mistake of having an affair without planning it first. Most of the time, it is an unexpected, spur of the moment decision that may even have been influenced by alcohol or other substances. Many people who have an affair don’t ever plan on doing it again. Do you fall into this category? If so, it may not be as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be. Everyone makes mistakes and often under the duress of a long distance relationship, an accidental affair can occur. However, if you planned the affair or have had multiple affairs, you need to stop and think about the fact that long distance relationships may not be something you can commit to.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

When it comes to telling your long distance partner about your infidelity, it is never wise to keep it a secret. Honesty is always the best policy in this situation. While you may want to wait until you and your partner are face to face to tell them what happened, you’ll be living a lie until you do. Buck up and talk to your partner about it over the phone. An actual phone conversation about it is much better and more personal then a webcam chat or even a text. Let your partner know ahead of time that you want to talk about something important so they can set aside enough time to have the conversation with you. This is not something you want to surprise them with when they’re with their buddies or doing errands.

Can You And Your Partner Move Past This, Or Is It Time To Move On?

Talk to your partner and assess how they feel about the situation. If it was a one time mistake that can be prevented in the future, ask your partner if they’re willing to forgive you and continue the relationship after the affair. If you’re truly struggling with the lack of physical intimacy in the relationship so much so that you’re going out and seeking physical intimacy from others, consider moving on from the relationship and dating someone closer to home. Ask your partner how they would like to handle the situation. If you and your partner want to continue the relationship, it would be wise to do your best to make physical intimacy between the two of you possible as much as you can.

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