One of the most challenging issues for a woman in relationships is creating the space and freedom for her man to be The Man in their... continue reading
One of the most challenging issues for a woman in relationships is creating the space and freedom for her man to be The Man in their relationship. One of the most challenging issues for a man in relationships today is choosing to be The Man, in spite of the resistance to it they both experience.
“You have to be the lion. You can’t have your woman be the same as you.”
~ Justin, 32
What Justin has to say isn’t just a nice poetic thought. It’s a challenge to a man to step up and be the lion – the man. Some meet that challenge easier than others, yet it is a challenge nonetheless. It is also a challenge for a woman to choose a non-competitive, receptive role with her man. If that sounds boring, keep reading to find out more because the fact is that the more alike a man and woman are (if they are both the lion), the more their relationship is filled with either strife or boredom.
When a man and woman are romantically involved and when they allow themselves to embody the masculine principle in him and the feminine principle in her, sexual tension is created which heats up the fire of their love and longing for each other. It stokes the fires of their passion in a way that makes sense to their bodies and minds.
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Whether you consider the history of the last one hundred years that has allowed women to come full force into their own in the work force, religion, and politics or the fact of the present necessity of women having to make it on their own in their jobs and careers; there have never been so many men and women on this planet living together in such relative equality as there are today. However, there are a number of ways a man and a woman in love can allow themselves to experience the richness of his masculinity and her femininity (him being the lion and her being the lioness) in spite of the pressures and demands of 21st Century life. Here are a few.
How To Be The Lion
When you feel the desire to protect her, follow it. If she protests that she’s capable of taking care of herself, gently insist. In time, you’ll teach her to trust you and that’s a very good thing. Open doors and pull out chairs for her. Stand up when she leaves or approaches the table. This old fashioned chivalry does more than simply flatter her. It makes a statement on your behalf that you are The Man.
You are in a relationship; she’s yours, so undress her with your eyes. And sometimes, when you’re preparing to make love, undress her with a sense of confidence, even authority. Embody the lion and be the king of your pride! If you’ve been together awhile, she may have begun to teach you to listen rather than give her advice. If you are receptive to that, you are a pretty cool dude. All of us, men and women, can stand to be better listeners. But sometimes you have something very valuable to give her in terms of logic and advice. If you need to prepare her for it so that her frustration is eased, do so. However, when you know she needs to hear what you have to say, say it.
How To Be The Lioness
Practice receptivity. He’s your fellow, not some stranger, so when he ogles you, enjoy it. Also, receptivity is more than just allowing someone access to you. And it has nothing to do with being a doormat! When you take joy in your own receptivity and how he fills you, delighting in it, being fed by it; well, that’s just a huge turn on for a man!
When he touches you, respond positively. A smile, a moan, catching your breath, turning in his direction communicate that you are a willing recipient to his advances. Turn the dial down on competing with him. Competition in a relationship shows up in large and almost imperceptible ways. You can teach yourself to recognize when you feel that drive inside to speak or act so that you can best him and thereby choose to just not go there. The more you practice, the easier it gets to spot it.
Certainly, there are times when competition is fun! This ain’t no 1950’s handbook on how to be happy lovers! It is just that one of the driving forces in a man is to protect his lover, not compete with her. When competition is the name of the game most of the time, it’s exhausting and can make a less competitive woman appear inviting.
These are just a few ideas but I hope the point is made. Sexual tension has to do with balance. If you are both the lion, the similarity in energies can lead to either fighting or apathy. If you allow yourselves to pair off as the lion and lioness instead, suddenly you are circling each other in a dance of passion that makes daily life a lot more fulfilling!