Finding Intimacy In The Twitter Age


For several weeks now, I have been learning how to tweet on Twitter. I was hoping that would sound kind of sexy but it doesn’t. It sounds geeky! Which makes sense as is a new kind of social media spot on the web that requires a learning curve other social media sites don’t. However, I am going to bring this tweeting thing around to sexuality and romantic relationships, if you’ll bear with me!

What Is Twitter?

On Twitter, you answer the question, “What are you doing?” in 140 characters or less. It’s like instant messaging on the internet. These tiny messages are called “tweets.” You can follow any of the members on Twitter and invite them to follow you. You can also reach out to friends outside Twitter and invite them in. Following someone means every time they “tweet,” it shows up on your page. I have over 60 people following me, at this writing, though the list has probably grown since I began writing this article. People I don’t know from Adam have found me and chosen to follow me on Twitter. The polite thing to do is follow them in return.

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The thing about it is how utterly fascinating it is to view all these peoples’ tweets. They tell you what they’re doing, they share favorite quotes, they lead you to their websites, they share their favorite music. They reply to each other’s tweets. If you follow Lance Armstrong, you find out where and for how many miles he rode his bike today! It’s obvious from people’s tweets that some are tweeting from their cell phones, sometimes every few minutes, as they go about their day. There’s a woman in my town I’ve never met but we follow each other on Twitter and, as a result, are also connected on Facebook. When she tweets about the weather, I find it strangely intimate because I’m experiencing the very same weather!

Finding Intimacy Online

And that’s the thing I’m getting to in this article, the intimacy! I read what people are doing in 140 characters or less and it feels like I am part of an intimate community that belongs exclusively to me. Even though the vast majority of them are strangers and the list grows daily, these are my people in a way that no one else is! My goodness, Lance Armstrong is a member of my community at Twitter!

I’ve only been doing this tweeting thing for a few weeks. As I’ve learned my way around it, I’ve discovered short cuts to keeping up with people and how to know who is really keeping up with me so that I limit my time on Twitter. I do have friends I tweet with, with whom I also share real face time. They, of course, are my most favorite twitterers.

Do you see how the intimacy develops? Even in the made up lingo of the Twitter universe, I feel so uniquely connected. It isn’t about exclusivity, however, because the more people following me and the more I follow, the better. It is an inclusive universe!

But the intimacy is a total head trip! It reminds me of a commercial I’ve seen a lot lately. I don’t even know what they are selling; but when I have the television on for background noise and this commercial airs, I stop to watch its climax, which is “the original instant message” – the kiss! Whatever they’re selling, calling a kiss the original instant message is cute and charming and it always reels me in.

Grounding Yourself With Real Intimacy

There are so many cyber worlds out there to join from Warcraft to blogs to social sites to TMZ updates and I’m barely scratching the surface. With ipods, cell phones, and lap tops so tiny I call them “finger tops,” we can walk through our lives with our heads in the clouds and forget to be present and grounded on this earth. It used to be only a segment of any population with certain personality quirks that walked around with their heads in the clouds. Now, most of us do it because we’re plugged in to the electronic universe made available by all this awesome technology. But that electronic universe isn’t “real.” Not in a face-to-face, hand-to-hand, I can smell your breath and pheromones kind of way. I mean, come on! It “feels” like intimacy as I participate in answering the question “What are you doing” in 140 characters or less!

Here’s where I get to the part about sexuality and romantic relationships. I will use more than 140 characters but I’m still keeping it brief because the message is to the point. I say, go give somebody a big, wet, sloppy kiss today and ground their body (and your own) on the planet, reminding ourselves what real intimacy and connection is about!

If there is no one presently in your life who will accept a big, wet, sloppy kiss then how about a great, big, cuddly, bear hug? Who knows, you might ground yourself enough to discover the person who will love your big, wet, sloppy kisses that interrupt the day and remind us why it is so delightful to be human!

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
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