This morning I was out in one of our flower beds pulling weeds. I ran across the cover of the septic tank, which brought back memories. A... continue reading
This morning I was out in one of our flower beds pulling weeds. I ran across the cover of the septic tank, which brought back memories. A few years ago, we had problems with the septic system when my husband had to be out of town. Handling it myself, I called a septic repairman who was glad for the work. Some restructuring of the tank was necessary, resulting in juniper having to be severely cut and a new and improved cover installed. I like the new cover. Larger and broader, it gives me a ledge from which to work in the bed. You see, we live in the mountains of Western North Carolina where every house, yard, garden, and flower bed is built on the side of a hill.
So, I stood on the septic tank cover this morning, bent at the waste pulling weeds, where for all intents and purposes my upper body was upside down; when suddenly, I had an epiphany about the opposite sex and what makes them happy! It was so brilliant, I’m thinking of making a habit of standing on my head to discover just how much I can see from their perspective.
Letting A Man Do The Work
In order to share the epiphany, I have to divulge a secret. All my married life, I have resented the man in my life needing me to let him do things that I can do for myself. Independent and resourceful, I was born singing the song, “Anything you can do, I can do better! I can do anything better than you!” At the same time, when he’s out of town and I have to handle calling the septic repairman or the electrician or whatever, I resent it that he isn’t available to take care of it for me.
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Now before you think, “What a b___!” Hear me out. This is a common phenomenon for women. That means, gentlemen (and the rare lady who hasn’t had this experience) you don’t have to take it personally. Besides, I believe I have discovered how to walk out of the problem.
When I was practically upside down an hour ago with my memories of the septic repair, I got on a feeling level the following words, “They want to help and it makes them happy. What’s the big deal about waiting till he’s around to ask for his help, when something that simple makes him so happy? Does anything short of a real emergency really need to be done immediately by me alone when inviting him into the solution of whatever needs to be fixed is so gratifying for him?”
Swallow That Pride And Ask For Help!
It was as if by hanging upside down, a switch got turned on – a really good one that holds the true promise of big rewards. Ladies, I cannot express enough how satisfying for him it is for a man to help you. And it is so simple. You just have to be willing to pause and ask for help. You just have to be willing to give up a little bit of control.
When you ask for his help, let him do it his way! Just because men and women tackle problems differently doesn’t make either one inferior or superior, wrong or right. If you are going to surrender and let him help, surrender all the way. He’ll adore you for it.
You might try standing on your head every once in awhile and just see if new perspectives that make life richer and fuller come your way. Do it naked and see how playful the transformation of your relationship can be!