Relationship advice can help you avoid the pitfalls of a messy break up. Here is what real men and women are saying about breaking up the... continue reading
Relationship advice can help you avoid the pitfalls of a messy break up. Here is what real men and women are saying about breaking up the right way.
What She Said:
No Birthdays Or Text Messages
Breaking up with someone can get really messy. Especially if you have been dating for a while. If you want to end a relationship, one of the worst ways to do it would be via a text message. If you text that things are over then you really are not giving someone the respect they deserve. Even if your relationships turned out to be a complete disaster, it is important that you end things face to face.
Another terrible way to break up with someone is by using social media like facebook. Changing your relationship status to single or worse, posting pictures of you with a new guy is just cruel. Yes social media makes life easier but it should never ever show where your heart stands without telling the person first.
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Another terrible way to break up with someone is when it is there birthday or a major holiday. No matter how ready you are to move on, sometimes its best to wait a day. If you end it on his birthday or an important holiday you will forever ruin that day for him and no one wants to have a bad reminder of his or her birthday or Christmas.
In a nutshell, if you are going to break up do not tell him all that he did wrong or high light is faults. Break up and leave him his dignity. Do not call him names, or worse, make mention to his penis size or bad bedroom skills. He was once your boyfriend; respect what you had because there once was a time when you did care for him.
What He Said:
Run It Like A Business
Look, the fact of the matter is that the person on the receiving end is not going to like the rejection. There are exceptions to be sure, but this is a good general rule. Why is this important to realize? Because most people spend a lot of time and energy around planning their breakup speech because they want to be nice or let the person down easy.
This is impossible.
If you know they aren’t going to like this, there’s no point in trying to plan it so that they will. Just make it fast and nasty. Tell them you don’t want to see them any more, then hang up. In person is good, but don’t do it during a meal or a typical date activity. No texting. No just disappearing, no avoiding their calls or texts until they “get it.” Just let them know and move forward.
This may sound harsh, and maybe in one way it is, but really it’s not that harsh. What’s harsh is drawing out or prolonging the process. The only real reason to do that is for your own ego, to make yourself feel better. That’s great and all, but making yourself feel better at the expense of others is not good.
So deal with it with the coldness of an IRS auditor or HR person. When you get canned, they don’t give you a big long flowery speech, they give you your last check and tell you to get your shit and go. They aren’t mean about it, they aren’t cocky they aren’t happy to do it, but they do it quickly and as painless as possible.
Run it like a business, bitches. If you have any of their stuff, make sure to give it to them in person when you do the breaking up. Don’t talk about the romance at the beginning or that you think they are a really, really great person and that they will find someone special soon or any of that typical breakup crap. Lying to them will prolong the process. Just end it.
It may surprise you, but they actually would rather you do it that way. They will feel relived, even if they don’t like the news they are hearing. They’ll move on and so will you.
Don’t Try To Stay Friends
And for the love of God, don’t give them that “lets be friends” crap. You’re not going to be friends any more, so why pretend? And for the other love of God, don’t stay Facebook friends with them. Sever all social media ties. They don’t need to know what you’re doing and vice versa. It’s over.