How To Ignite A Spark In Your Relationship With Confidence


Let me just get right to the point.  Having said it before, it bears repeating; confidence is the biggest, baddest, best turn on for both men and women.  The following quote from Marianne Williamson translates well for men too!

“If you’re single and would like a partner, you’ll only attract one when you’ve mastered the lessons of singleness.  Don’t ask how you can ‘get’ a man [or woman].  Ask how you can be the coolest woman [or man] in the world – and when that happens, you’ll enjoy the experience so much it won’t even matter whether men [or women] notice you or not.  Which means, of course, that they will.”

The Reality of the Difference Confidence Makes

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Now I want to put an exclamation point after every one of her sentences to emphasize the juicy reality of the difference confidence makes whether you are attracting a mate or are presently in a romantic relationship.

Of course, we all want to fall in love or be in love with someone who is so warm and caring that we can drop our defenses and be truly vulnerable with this person.  That is a beautiful dream and can be a profound reality.

For the purpose of this article, though, let’s concentrate on the difference it makes when you remind yourself to be in that confident space that raises your sexual stock market value!

Remember When You Were Dating?

When you were loose and free in the dating world, what kind of people grabbed your attention as potential dates?  Mostly likely, no matter the hair color, body type, or personality, there was the common thread of confidence, genuine confidence radiating from them.  Not arrogance masquerading as confidence.

I am not talking about the man or woman daring you to approach so he or she could jerk you around.  I am talking about the ones who were comfortable in their own skin, able to make direct eye contact and conversation that included you.  Those people are attractive from the inside out.

If they show up in a body type or hairstyle you never found attractive before but now you can’t get enough of, it’s the confidence that allowed you to look long enough to see them!

Were You Lucky Or Just Needy and Clingy?

When were you luckiest out there in the dating world?  When you were needy, clingy, or wanting to be rescued?  I doubt it.  If you got lucky in that frame of mind, I imagine the results were not very pleasant and that it did not lead to a lifetime of romance.

I bet you were luckiest out there when you were feeling good about yourself and knew you had something awesome to offer to the right person!  Sometimes, weren’t you surprised to find connecting with people to be easy and natural even though you hadn’t put much attention on your outfit or getting your hair just right.

You could be unintentional about attracting the opposite sex yet find yourself successful in attracting them anyway!  Your unselfconscious, genuine confidence was working for you!

Getting Sloppy in Relationships

Sometimes, in our relationships, we take each other for granted without meaning to and get sloppy.  We expect to be forgiven for being human, needy, melancholy, even boring.  That’s all right.  But if you want to turn up the juice in your relationship, a quick look back to what made you juicy when you were dating can give you just what you need.

Try striking a pose once in awhile!  Pay attention to how you walk, stand, and sit around each other.

Ladies, if having a wiggle in your walk got his attention in the first place, bring that thing back around!  Gents, you know that stance thing some of you do?  You stand there resting on one hip with your opposite hand in the pocket of your jeans with, maybe, your thumb and little finger hanging outside the pocket.  Your shoulders are relaxed and your chest is prominent, while your attitude says, “Here I am.”

Bring those confidence indicators into the home place and keep the home fires burning!

Confident People Enjoy Each Other’s Company

Tell each other stories and jokes meant to entertain.  Confident people enjoy each other’s company.  They trust themselves to behave well and have good intentions.  They also have the ego strength to handle it when toes are stepped on by accident.

Be present to one another the way you were in the beginning, when the fact that you held his or her attention stoked the fire of your confidence, building it even more!

Initiate Sex

Spontaneous sex exudes confidence and communicates you are hot for each other!  With the differences between men and women on the one hand and simple personality differences on the other, some are resistant to spontaneous sex.

If that’s you, then you hold the ace!  Initiating love making or being highly receptive for a change the next time it is offered communicates confidence in yourself and confidence in your love.  Both are incredibly attractive!

Plan an Exciting Date Night

Make a date night more than dinner and a movie. Do something special that makes you feel like a pair of VIP’s out in the world to be seen and admired.  Show off your love and the sparkle between the two of you.

I know a couple who love to high five each other in public when their conversation takes that groove where they finish each other’s sentences and they are proud to be together.  They know it draws attention to them, putting their romance on display.  It builds their confidence and the sexual energy between them.

Take an Interest in Others

Confident people take an interest in others, which definitely turns people on and can still turn your partner on!  Occasionally, really turn your full attention on your lover as he or she is speaking.

Turn your body towards them, give them plenty of eye contact, and show them genuine interest so that the expressions on your face match where your lover is coming from.  Be with him or her the way you were in the beginning.

Be that confident and watch your romance ignite again!

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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