Q&A: Is It Good To Be Over-Protective of My Partner?


Sometimes in relationships one partner becomes overprotective or even controlling. This can wreak havoc on a relationship, because more often than not, the partner being “protected” doesn’t want to be nor do they need to be. If you’re an overprotective or controlling partner, how can you overcome it?

Question: Every time I leave my girlfriend to let her go home it makes me worry about her constantly. You could say that I’m over protective. I would like to know if it’s it good to be over protective?

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Is Your Partner Really Unsafe?

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Some people have had some sort of trauma in their past or even a bad relationship that causes them to be overprotective of their next partner. They maybelieve their partner is truly unsafe. Most of the time, however, your partner isn’t unsafe and doesn’t need protecting. Calling them all the time when they’re out, asking where they were or who they were with and keeping tabs on them isn’t going to make them any safer, it’s going to make them angry and frustrated. Take a look at your situation and ask yourself, if your partner is really in danger or not. Chances are, they’re not.

Are You A Control Freak?

Many people prefer to be in control in different situations, and others like to be in control of every situation. If your partner likes to go out on their own, you may feel anxious or upset at not being able to be in control of what happens when your partner is gone. Calling or texting your partner a lot while they’re out, grilling them about what they did or even giving them a “curfew” can help you feel like you’re back in control of the situation. Unfortunately, while you may feel less anxious by being able to keep tabs on your partner, they’re going to be upset with you for not feeling like they have freedom in their own situations. They may also feel like you don’t trust them.

Overcoming The Need To Feel In Control

Being a control freak or feeling the need to be in control of almost every situation isn’t healthy. It’s definitely something you want to try to overcome. Having the need to feel in control of everything can cause problems in your relationships, and even end them. Many a relationship have ended because one partner is controlling or too overprotective of the other. Think about why you feel the need to be in control or be protective of your partner, and try to figure out the root of the problem. Try to learn to relax a little bit when your partner goes out and resist the urge to call all the time or give them a certain time to be home or check in with you. You’ll find that your partner will most likely come home safe and sound, and will be relieved that you weren’t keeping tabs on them. You can overcome being a control freak on your own, but it never hurts to seek counseling so you can have someone to talk it through with.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

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