Why It’s Okay For Him To Look At Other Women


First it’s important for the woman to understand that it is a law of nature that men look.

It’s just a fact we have to live with, however, when you understand that it’s usually the result of biological instinct and not an emotional pull then you can relax because it isn’t really a threat to you.  Men are visually stimulated and they become aroused by what they see.

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He can’t help it. It’s the way nature created them in order to ensure survival of the species.

Why Women Don’t Get It

This is hard for women to understand, because we don’t operate that way. We too, are attracted to physical features, but we’re more stimulated by what’s going on inside our heads and hearts.

For us, the physical and the emotional are intricately connected and we’re usually emotionally stimulated before physically stimulated.  Yes, we may enjoy savoring the beauty of someone like Johnny Depp or Ryan Gosling from time to time, but we’re typically not sexually excited by every attractive man that crosses our path.

No Need to Worry. It’s Just His Inner Caveman

We think if our man is looking at someone then it means he wants her, he may fall in love with her or he is feeling something for her, but it doesn’t really mean anything other than his biological urges have been activated. He’s not feeling anything emotional, it’s purely physical.

When they see an attractive woman, their inner caveman is beckoned without conscious choice. It’s harmless and nothing for you to be worried about because his heart, mind and soul are still with you.

Getting His Attention Back On You

If you feel left out when you notice your man’s eyes have been distracted, then join in the fun with him. Hold his hand and whisper in his ear, “Wow, she’s really hot isn’t she?” or “What’s the matter, baby, she got your motor running?”

When you see his soldier is standing at attention, rub your body against his, press your breasts against him, push your hips against his buttocks, nibble on his neck or ears, or if it’s possible reach between his legs and give him a good squeeze or stroke him. You’ll bring his attention straight back to you.

If the circumstance is right, you can even take advantage of the situation and use it as an opportunity to whisk him away and take him for a ride on the wild side that reminds him what you’ve got.

This kind of playfulness will actually strengthen your relationship.  Your man will feel accepted and know that he doesn’t have to hide things from you, which will encourage trust and deepen intimacy. He’ll see that you’re confident, self-assured and secure, which will make you more attractive to him.

The Difference Between Looking and Ogling

On the other hand, it’s also important to keep in mind that there is a difference between “looking” and “ogling.” Although a certain degree of looking is natural and to be expected, there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed or it then becomes disrespectful to you.

There’s also a difference between “looking” and “wandering” and that’s what we want to focus on here.  His looking only becomes dangerous when he acts on his urges or is thinking of acting on them.

When Looking Is More Than a Stare

If his looking is more like a stare that is blatantly obvious to you and the other woman and causes embarrassment or he’s making explicit remarks out loud to you about the other woman, comparing you to her in any way, actually flirting with her in front of you or indicating in any way that he would like to act on his urges, then this is unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

Under these circumstances you may be dealing with a player, someone with excessively low self-esteem who needs constant ego boosting or sex addiction and that’s a whole other ball game that is cause for concern.

These issues are outside the realm of this conversation. For the purpose of this discussion we’re talking about the average semi-emotionally healthy man.

So, in summary, the main points to take away from this discussion are this. If you’re man is engaging in a little window shopping and admiring the merchandise, there is no harm done and no action is really required.

On the other hand, in a healthy relationship, even though he may be aroused by another woman, your man should be mature enough and value his relationship with you enough that he won’t do anything to jeopardize it.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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