Lame Valentine’s Day Ideas That Will Put You In The Doghouse


Valentine’s Day is about love – not gifts – so it shouldn’t matter what you get your partner, right? Wrong! While you don’t have to spend a lot of money on your significant other’s Valentine’s Day gift, it does have to show that you truly thought about your partner when selecting or making the gift and it should illustrate your love for them. While most of the time any effort a guy puts into a Valentine’s Day gift is applauded, there are some gifts that just won’t make the cut – and they’ll probably land you on the couch for the next several nights.

Flowers From A Gas Station

Yes, women absolutely adore getting flowers on Valentine’s Day. In fact, it’s even something women feel very strongly that their partners should do for them on February 14th. But just getting her any flowers doesn’t win you brownie points – getting them from somewhere like a gas station will no doubt make you look cheap and make her feel like you just grabbed something on your way out of a convenience store. Don’t make her think that she’s not worth your time – because if you’re with her, she is! Instead, surprise her with flowers at work. Don’t want to spend the money getting them sent there by a florist? Show up right before her lunch break with a handful of fresh picked flowers and take her out for a lunch full of romance.

A Card…Without A Gift

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Lots of people give cards on Valentine’s Day, but they’re usually accompanied by a gift of some sort, preferably one that shows that the gift giver really and truly cares. It’s great to pick out a sweet or funny card for your significant other for Valentine’s Day, but don’t give her just a card with nothing else to go with it. This will show your partner that she’s unimportant in your life or that you just couldn’t think of anything to get her. It’s a great way to make you feel like a stranger to her. Instead, pick out a really sweet or funny card and pair it with a single rose from the florist (less than $5) or a special dinner date.

Sex Advice

If you want to turn Valentine’s Day into a night of super steamy sex, giving her the gift of sex advice – be it in book form or other – will only serve to make your partner think that you’re trying to tell her she’s a terrible lover. You’re much better off if you want to look up sex advice of your own on how to please her. In fact, this is recommended if you want to plan a night of amazing sex and explosive orgasms on Valentine’s Day. Learn how to give her incredible oral sex with moves you’ve never tried before – and surprise her with them on the night of the 14th!

Porn For “Her”

Watching porn together on the 14th is a great way to connect sexually with your lover, but it has to be the right kind of porn and it certainly can’t be your “gift” to her – well, your only one anyway. Lots of guys try to get away with giving their girls porn as a gift, and this most certainly will not work on Valentine’s Day. Most guys have no clue as to what a woman truly finds erotic in an adult movie and end up choosing something they think is hot – which often the women off completely. If you get her porn as a Valentine’s Day gift, you’re suggesting that she’s not good enough for you in bed and that she doesn’t turn you on. Not at all what you want to say to her on the big night!

A Prank Gift

It may seem funny to give your lover a prank gift on Valentine’s Day, but this is almost never a good idea, even if your partner has a great sense of humor. A prank gift will show your partner that you cared more about entertaining yourself than you did about her, and at her expense. If you really want a laugh on Valentine’s Day, take your partner out to see a funny movie after eating a delicious and romantic dinner together. There are so many awesome sweet and sexy Valentine’s Day ideas out there, so you don’t have to worry about coming up with something all on your own. Take the time to plan something really special and show your partner that she really means a lot to you and you feel like she’s an important part of your life.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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