Why Anal Sex Can Hurt


Anal sex is not just about penetration of the anus. It encompasses other activities like analingus (licking of the anal region) or fingering the anal hole of your partner. But admittedly, when we say “anal sex” the first thing that comes to mind is penetration.

Do heterosexual couples engage in anal sex? Yes, absolutely. It may surprise some people but there are many straight couples that love anal sex. First of all, anal sex is a popular taboo and the thrill of doing something that’s not supposed to be done adds to the excitement of trying it out. Couples who have tried it often feel a lot closer afterwards.

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Trust level is an important factor to consider if you are thinking of trying anal sex. I will not lie to you; the first time you do it, it will hurt. Even after you have been doing it for a while, there is still a certain amount of physical discomfort.

Here are some reasons why anal sex can hurt, and why you need to stock up on lube if you want to try it.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Aren’t Expecting It

There is such a thing as a “surprise anal” sex move, but this is so emotionally damaging that I do not recommend it. A man should always ask you nicely if he wants to put it in your ass. At the very least, he should give you the chance to prepare yourself. If a guy dares pull off this stunt, the shock combined with the sense of betrayal that you feel can contribute to the overwhelming physical pain.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Are Being Forced To Try It

Even if your boyfriend or husband asks for permission, if you really don’t want to try it, it will hurt. You have to be completely relaxed to enjoy anal sex. Moreover, you have to trust your partner enough to believe that he will stop when you ask him to. The muscle outside the rectum tightens when stimulated, and it will tighten even more when you’re tense or scared. Forcing entry when this muscle is too tight to allow entry can contribute to the hurt.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Are Not Lubricated Enough

Relaxing will help ease the initial pain of anal sex, but no amount of relaxation will ease the discomfort if the sphincter muscle isn’t lubricated enough. Spread some lube on your partner’s member or your anal sex toy and a huge dollop on your anal region to make anal sex more pleasurable.

If you’re intent on going for it, ask your partner to gradually loosen the sphincter muscle with gentle stimulation and fondling. He must never touch your sphincter without applying lubricant first. Also, remember to wash well after anal sex.

One major appeal of anal sex for me is the fact that it can be your dirty little secret. It’s extremely exciting to know that you’re both acting like a prim-and-proper, lovey-dovey couple in public, while you’re doing something “taboo” in private.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
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