Q&A: Sex Tip – How To Get Her To Be On Top


One of the most challenging things in the bedroom is finding new sex positions to be in that you and your partner both enjoy. If you are really into a certain sex position but your partner doesn’t seem to want to try it, here are some great ways to get her to be more interested in it so you both can enjoy fun and exciting sex!

Question: My girlfriend and I are happy and in love and everything is going great. We have sex almost everyday. It’s wonderful! But she doesn’t like to change up the sex position. She knows that I like when she’s on top because we talk about it and when we “talk dirty” via phone/text she always says she’s going to get on top of me, but when we get in bed, it seems like she doesn’t want to. Do you think she wants me to throw her around and put her on top of me and stuff? I’ve thought about trying that, but I don’t want to throw her into a situation she doesn’t want to be in.

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Trying Other Positions

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So maybe your partner doesn’t want to try being on top right now, but perhaps she’ll be interested in trying some other positions that give her a little more control without giving her all the control. If your partner is very shy, especially with sex, she may be apprehensive about having all the control when it comes to having sex. Some great sex positions to warm her up to being on top are the lotus position or the spoon position. In the lotus position, you and your partner are both sitting up, with her sitting on your lap facing you. This allows her to be “on top” but then again, so are you! In the spoon position, you will enter your partner from behind while you are both lying down as though you were spooning. Although you are in control here, she can actually control the depth and speed of your penetration.

Help Her Get On Top

Your partner may want you to take the initiative to get her on top. She may be too shy to get out of her missionary position comfort zone herself, but she may like it once she gets there. During sex, gently roll over so she ends up being on top for a few minutes. If she seems to really like it, stay there! If not, roll her back over so you’re on top again. You can increase the time she spends on top as you do this more often during sex, and eventually she will be on top for the majority of the time during sex! Another thing you can do is go down on her first and get her really, really turned on. She will be more receptive to new things when she’s losing control and in the throes of passion. Help her to relax before sex with a hot bath or a glass of wine, and if she’s in a more relaxed state of mind, she’ll be more receptive to your advances.

Encourage Her!

Let her know how much you like it when she’s on top. Encourage her when she is and let her know how great she is doing. Give her the right body language too, such as making noises during sex when she is pleasing you or grabbing her harder and holding her tighter. She may be afraid of being on top because she’s afraid she won’t please you! Just let her know how great she’s doing and how much you like it and she’ll be more inclined to do what really turns you on.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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