Sex Tips: Penetration – How Far Is Too Far?


Sex positions like doggy style and some versions of the missionary position can angle the vagina for deeper penetration during sex, but this isn’t always something that is desirable. Sometimes, deep penetration during sex can hurt, especially if her vagina is smaller than your penis or she’s a virgin the first time you have sex with her. Here’s how to tell how far is too far when it comes to penetration and how to make it more comfortable for her when you want to go deeper.

Question: Hey guys, I was wondering when having sex, is there a certain amount of penetration you can go? Or if it doesn’t matter? For example, me and my girlfriend of 2 years were having sex in the doggy style position and when I stuck it in, she yelled and said it hurt. I’m thinking because I stuck it in to far! But really don’t know…please answer!

–YouTube Viewer

Vagina Size Matters

Just like penis size – both length and width – can differ greatly from guy to guy, vagina size can differ greatly from woman to woman. While the vagina is designed to stretch to accomodate a wide variety of penis sizes, every woman’s vagina is shaped and sized differently. Some women have vaginas that are longer but thinner, and others have vaginas that are smaller and shorter. Couple that with the effects that having a baby can have on vagina size and shape! If your girlfriend has a small sized vagina, deep penetration during different types of sex positions can cause discomfort and pain, especially if she’s not aroused. The vagina will stretch more to accomodate a larger penis and different angles of penetration during sex if she’s completely aroused and well lubricated. However, if your partner simply has a small vagina, you may want to try different sex positions that allow for more shallow penetration so you and her can both get off.

Why Sex Can Hurt Sometimes – And How To Prevent It

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For a woman, sex can sometimes hurt – but this is not always because your penis is too large for her or her vagina is too small for your penis. Often, pain or discomfort during intercourse is caused by lack of arousal and not enough foreplay time. When a woman is not fully aroused before penetration, her vagina is tight and constricted, not to mention drier and less accomodating to an entering object. Think of an unaroused vagina as having a “Keep Out” sign on it. While you may feel some discomfort trying to get in there if she’s not turned on and wet, for her it will be downright painful. This is true regardless of which sex positions you use, so it is definetly to your girlfriend’s benefit to spend some time turning her on. Give her oral sex or finger her gently while kissing her deeply to get her turned on. Spend enough time on her to make sure that she is good and ready for sex. As she gets more aroused, her vagina will become relaxed and start to lubricate itself. Even after she is turned on, you may think she is wet enough for sex – but she’s probably not. Don’t forget to use lots and lots of good, water based lube! It never hurts to have lube on hand and many manufacturers make lube in easy to use bottles with a pump dispenser so you never have to fumble around for it.

Sex Postions That May Go Too Far If You’re Not Careful

Even if your partner is totally and completely turned on, there are still quite a few sex positions that may cause you to penetrate her vagina deeply enough to cause her pain or discomfort. Doggy style is probably one that will cause the deepest penetration, while missionary with her legs over your shoulders comes in a close second. Some women enjoy short bursts of deep penetration (especially if she likes a little bit of pain) but thrusting too deeply for long periods of time may be too painful for her. That doesn’t mean you have to stop using these sex positions all together though – all you have to do is modify your thrusting technique so you don’t push your penis in quite as far. This may be difficult to do when you’re approaching orgasm though, because once you’re in the throes of an orgasm, you may no longer be able to control yourself so you don’t thrust too deeply and hurt your partner. You may want to try a different sex position if you’re close to climax.

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