Why He Doesn’t Want To Have Sex With You


You want to have sex and he doesn’t. You’re all over him, and he obviously looks like he would rather be doing something else – or at the very least, just not into what you’re doing. Why? You’re butt naked (or even wearing lingerie) and totally smokin’ hot – but he doesn’t seem to desire to have sex at all. How frustrating! What does it mean when he won’t have sex with you? Is there something wrong with you?

Not exactly. Yes, you could be contributing to his not wanting to do it right at that point in time, but there are also some other reasons that he might not want to have sex that are totally beyond your control. Here’s why he might not want to do it when you initiate it:

Lack Of Foreplay

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While men often get the reputation of being able to get hard and ready for sex in seconds, this is not always the case. Men actually require foreplay too before they have sex (that is, if they want to get into it at all), although usually not as much as women do.

If you try to get it on with a guy before he’s had enough time during foreplay to get really aroused, you’re going to end up with one of two things – a guy with a semi hard on, or a guy who wants his and wants to get back to what he was doing before. This isn’t really a win-win for either of you. So make sure to include plenty of foreplay in your sex routine, before you ever get started. Oral sex is a great way to do this – often, just a ten minute blowjob will get him warmed up and aroused enough to really want to have sex.

Lack Of Interest On Your Part

A man doesn’t want to have sex with a blow up doll. Or a robot. If he wanted that, he could just go buy a blow up doll. If he’s even remotely interested in sex and makes a move – and you’re not interested or enthusiastic at all – he’ll lose his desire pretty quick. That may leave you wondering what’s going on, especially if you’ve been faking orgasm. A lot of guys can smell a fake from a mile away and that will turn him off faster than if you were dressed like his mother.

Whether he makes the first move or you do, make sure you show lots of interest in him and what is going on. Don’t be distracted by the television, the computer or your phone. In fact, shut all those things off and show your man that you want to pay attention to him and only him. This will get him perked up pretty much right away and as he sees you continue to be really interested in getting it on with him (especially if you’re one of those women who really enjoys giving your man pleasure), he’ll get more and more into it himself.

He’s Not Turned On

It happens to women all the time – even really hot women. For example, he’s watching the game and you bring him a beer. You notice that he has an erection. Your ass looks particularly fine in your jeans today, so it must be that. Or maybe it’s the seductive look you gave him when you sauntered in to where he is sitting. You hone in on him to get things started and he looks at you like you’ve lost your marbles. What? He’s got an erection! Doesn’t that mean he wants to have sex? Not always.

Just because he’s hard doesn’t mean that he’s actually turned on or that he wants sex right at that moment. Sometimes, his penis gets hard on its own, really for no reason at all. This happens throughout the day, but especially at night while he’s sleeping. So you may misread his erection as being turned on, when really, it’s just his body going on about it’s natural business.

So instead of feeling rejected next time you spring on him and he’s just not into it (despite the physical clues that he does), chalk it up to one of those random hard-ons and find something else to do. Try again when he’s relaxed and bring on the foreplay. Take your time, show him you really want him and let things take their natural course. With some effort on your part, it won’t be long before he changes his tune.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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