Oral Sex Troubleshooting & What To Do If Things Aren’t Going Well


Oral sex doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes she won’t respond well to your technique – so here’s what to do to troubleshoot oral sex.

Have you ever had a situation with a woman where you had no idea what to do, or worse, you knew what was wrong but needed a nice way to say it? This is the article for you then, where you’ll get feedback on several tricky yet manageable situations and questions you know, the kind that you want to ask about, but were afraid to.

“She Doesn’t Seem To Enjoy My Oral Technique”

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It could be that you’ve noticed her not as engaged as she usually is while in the heat of the moment, or maybe she isn’t as excited about you going down on her lately as she used to be. There could be a few reasons why she’s acting a bit different:

  • You’re so concerned about your technique and pleasing her, that her anxiousness is rubbing off on her and she’s not able to get in the mood
  • You’ve lost the fun quotient and are a bit robotic or mechanical, and she’s getting a bit bored with the lack of variety.

Really though, it doesn’t matter what the reason is because the answer is the same: if she gets even a whiff of you not being 100% enthusiastic or into cunnilingus with her, she’ll have a hard time enjoying it.

So how to remedy this? Put your concerns or fears out of your head for a bit, and focus on the aspects of oral sex that are a total turn on for you. Most women will go crazy with that knowledge, and be able to open up and enjoy themselves more fully. So flash her a winner of a smile with a tweak of naughty to it, and then just go to it. It’s highly unlikely that with that attitude, you’ll get any complaints.

“She Has Lots of Pubic Hair?”

Some gents are quite fond of the 70’s look, but others would much rather see what they are doing, or they find the trimmed and/or baby smooth look a real turn on. Doesn’t matter really what matters is how you deal with it.

If it’s the first time that you’re going down on her, it may just be that she hasn’t had time to do any shaving yet. Give her some warning next time and see if she takes care of things without you having to say anything on the matter.

If your hints don’t get the job done, it’s time for the next step: subtlety. If the two of you ever watch porn together, try casually mentioning how hot you find the barely there hair on the ladies. Or, don’t trim your pubic hair. When she’s done going down on you next time, apologize for not keeping things neat and tidy, and then say with a naughty smile, “I will if you will!”

If neither of those tactics work and you really need her to perform some maintenance, your only other option is to talk to her about it directly. “I think you’re amazing, and I love going down on you. I find it difficult to see what I’m doing though, and I’d really like to give you the most amazing orgasm ever! Is there any way that we could trim things up together? I’m totally willing to help.”

“It’s Taking Too Long”

The length of time it will take to get your partner off depends on her as long as it takes. There’s really no way to predict how long, other than to use your past experiences with this woman as an indicator as to what might happen in the future.

Some women, it takes a while to get to where they need to be, both mentally and physically. Others can build the necessary tension in a few minutes, and can fly towards orgasm straight-on without a lot of coaching or encouragement. And for different women it’ll change based on their mood, cycle, past experiences, stress levels, diet, medications, and even alcohol. (Alcohol, while in small amounts can help her relax, but too much and it’ll take her much longer to climax, if at all)

Another factor that needs to be taken into account as to how long a session will last, is how much foreplay time she received prior to oral sex. The more time you spend prepping her, the less time it’ll take for her get to the finish line.

Also, the better you know your partner, the easier time you’ll have of figuring out what’s ‘normal’ for her, and how long it should take to make her orgasm.

“She Doesn’t Smell Fresh”

She may have looked irresistible when two of you went out dancing before your night of bliss, but once those beads of sweat have cooled? They aren’t anywhere near as appealing.

The easiest answer is to suggest getting her out of her clothes and hopping into the shower together. Take the sensuality one step further by lathering her up yourself, making sure not to get any soap inside of her or else she’ll be dry and may complain about itching and burning later. Icky.

If you don’t have the opportunity to take a shower together, flavored dental dams work really well to mask offensive odors in a pinch, as do some flavored lubes. Worst case scenario? Grab a warm cloth and gently wipe her down yourself, making sure to let the heat of the water soften up her vulva while you kiss and stroke her skin elsewhere.

“I Think She’s Addicted To Her Vibrator and Can’t Have an Orgasm With Me”

There is such a thing as too much, as you probably well know from your own masturbation experiences. When someone gets used to a certain method, feeling, or approach, it can be incredibly difficult to respond without it. Less variety in this case isn’t a good thing, so you may need a bit of time to, literally, retrain your partner’s clitoris to accept different, softer kinds of fondling.

If your gal isn’t willing to let go of her vibrator for a while and try playing without one (it may take her longer to have an orgasm, but in time she’ll reprogram her body to react in the same way), try it her way instead. Buy a long handled vibrator, so you can use it in tandem with your hands and mouth. See if you can alternate movements or change things up a bit with the extra ‘hand’, and watch carefully how she responds. It may take a bit of time for her to relearn how to orgasm by someone else’s hand, but eventually she’ll find the pleasure completely worthwhile.

“When She Has an Orgasm, She Pees. Ick!”

What you think is pee is probably just a tiny bit of liquid that women squirt during orgasm. It’s extremely rare for a woman to pee during orgasm same thing for a man so assume that it’s really her body’s signal that she’s had an amazing orgasm. G-spot orgasms can also create a much larger amount of fluid, but again, it’s not urine.

If the liquid really grosses you out or you’re convinced it is pee, there are a few things you can do. First, go to the bathroom before you start your next oral episode, and then ask your partner if she needs to go too. It’ll prompt her to empty her bladder just in case, without you having to say it. Also, make sure that there’s a towel handy for quick and easy clean up after you’ll want one too for your orgasm anyway, so it’s not out of the ordinary. Dental dams provide a separation between her fluids and your mouth too, and if it’s only a small amount you’ll likely not even notice.

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