Why Some Women Hate Giving Head


Oral sex isn’t something every woman just loves to give. There are a great deal of women out there that really don’t like going down on their partners. Most of the time, this is due to the fact that a lot of women rate a man’s genitals slightly above insects in terms of things they want coming in contact with their mouths. However, there are actually plenty of reasons a woman might not be so enthusiastic about giving her lover oral sex.

It’s Condescending To Women

It’s true that oral sex on a man is a form of sexual submission for a woman, or it at least can be viewed as such. However, many girls feel as though this type of submission is condescending to women. Oral sex in and of itself is not condescending towards women, but of course, a man’s attitude while he’s getting a blowjob has everything to do with how the girl feels while she’s going down on him. If he’s acting like he deserves the blowjob, that he’s controlling her or if he acts condescending towards her in any way during the blowjob, that’s how she’s going to perceive it.

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However, men that treat receiving oral sex as a gift and treat the woman giving it with respect and love, she isn’t going to feel as though he expects it or is looking down on her for doing it. If you’ve had a bad past experience with men treating you poorly during oral sex, don’t assume that it’s because the act itself is condescending towards women. It’s more likely that the partner you were giving head to had a bad attitude about it.

It Smells & It’s Dirty

The far majority of women who don’t like going down on a man feel this way because they view a man’s genitals as dirty and gross. While both female and male genitals have their own distinct odors, if your lover keeps his undercarriage clean, there shouldn’t be too much of an issue here as far as smell and taste goes. Many women, however, have had a bad experience going down on a man who hasn’t bothered to wash his genitals thoroughly or at all, leaving her with an unsavory memory of oral sex. Rest assured that this is not always the case!

Many men are very vigilant about their genital hygiene, especially if they suspect or know that they’ll be receiving oral sex at some point during the day or evening. If your man doesn’t pay much attention to cleanliness, that doesn’t mean that you have to forgo giving him the gift of a blowjob – there are many things you can do during foreplay to get him cleaned up, such as incorporating a sexy shower beforehand so you’re both fresh, clean and ready for action.

He Doesn’t Give Her Oral Sex, Why Should She Do It For Him?

Many guys drop the ball when it comes to giving a woman oral sex, which can be frustrating for girls. It can seem like a man expects it, but won’t give it out in return – which can definitely make a woman feel resentful about giving him head. There are a lot of reasons a man won’t go down on a woman, from being sensitive to her scent to not even being aware of the fact that she craves oral sex too. Regardless of the reasons, it doesn’t help the relationship any for a woman to withhold going down on her man just because he doesn’t do it for her.

The fastest way to get a man to reciprocate is to give him an enthusiastic blowjob! He might not respond right away, but be patient and enjoy the fact that you’re pleasuring him. Communicate with him about what he likes and let him know that you’d like a little oral pleasure too – and make sure you’re clean and well groomed down there. Once he sees how excited you are about giving him oral sex, he’ll likely be so turned on, he’ll want to go down on you too!

It’s Too Hard To Keep From Gagging

If a man is particularly well endowed, it’s likely the head of his penis will aggravate his partner’s gag reflex and cause her to gag or even vomit in worst case scenarios, especially if she’s not skilled or practiced at relaxing her throat. This happens most often, however, when a man is aggressive during a blowjob and holds her head down onto his penis or bucks his hips so that his penis is shoved further down her throat. If a woman is in total control while she’s giving head, she can easily back off or stop all together when she feels like gagging, stimulating him with her hands while she regains her composure.

If she’s in control, she may not even get to the point where she’s gagging, because she can control the depth and angle of his penetration. If your partner gets too aggressive during oral sex, explain to him why you want to be in control. Let him know that you want him to relax and let you please him totally! If you make the conversation about him and his pleasure (and how it will be better for him if he backs off and lets you do your thang), he’ll likely be exceptionally receptive to letting go and letting you take the reins.

It’s Difficult To Get And Stay Comfortable

It’s not easy to get comfortable during oral sex and it’s even more difficult to stay that way. You can get cramps in your neck, back or wrists from holding yourself up while going down on him. Finding the right oral sex position is essential to staying comfortable and giving head for extended periods of time without experiencing discomfort. This will take some experimenting – you may not find the right position right away, but as you continue to try different oral sex positions, you’ll learn which ones cause you more discomfort and which ones allow you to have more stamina.

He Doesn’t Let Her Know What He Likes (And She Thinks She’s Doing It Wrong)

Most guys don’t know how to communicate well at all, let alone communicate what they like during sex. Many guys enjoy getting head so much that they revert into their own little worlds, forgetting to make any noise or movement. Most men won’t tell a woman what feels good and what doesn’t, which can be really frustrating for her! She’ll wonder if she’s doing anything right, and she’ll switch techniques too fast in an effort to find something he actually responds to.

This actually makes the situation much worse – he may like what she’s doing, but if he doesn’t respond to it, she’s going to switch too quickly, without allowing him time to build towards an orgasm. This actually makes the blowjob terrible – so his lack of communication actually makes her fears and concerns about not being any good at oral sex realized.

Communicate with your lover and let him know how important it is for him to communicate with you during a blowjob, even if it’s just moans and groans. Let him know that it is crucial that he let you know what he likes and what he doesn’t, so you can tailor your oral sex skills specifically to what feels good for him. It may take him several tries to open up to you, but be sure to never judge him or be critical of him for what he likes or how he chooses to tell you he likes it.

Be sure to do your best to read his body language and once you both get the hang of it, he won’t have to tell you what he likes anymore and you won’t be afraid you’re doing it wrong – you’ll be confident you’re absolutely ROCKING his world!

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
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