What To Do When He Can’t Keep It Up During Oral Sex!


Oral sex is awesome for guys, but not every guy can maintain his erection while you do your thing. Do this if he has trouble keeping it up during oral sex.

Is It Your Fault?

Not every man (especially those above the age of forty) has the ability to swiftly get an erection and keep his penis hard during fellatio or at other times as well, even if his partner is completely arousing him. If your partner has difficulty getting or keeping an erection, it is important that you do not beat yourself up emotionally about it! This does not mean that you are not arousing him or that you are not “sexy” or “good” enough.

What To Say When He Can’t Maintain His Erection

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You must also be careful about what you say when this happens. Men in general are very sensitive about the size of their penis and whether or not they can get an erection and keep one. Remarks, although seemingly harmless to you, may have long-term ego scarring that can affect future fellatio sessions. Better to avoid this at all and be supportive of your partner should he have difficulty getting or keeping an erection.

Getting Him To Relax

This is an important first step in beginning fellatio on a man who has difficulty obtaining and/or maintaining an erection. Physical and emotional stress (particularly if the stress is in relation to the sexual act about to be performed) your partner may find it difficult to get aroused, even if he has never had this happen before. There are several ways you can reduce anxiety before performing oral sex.

Turn down the lights. If your partner is at all self conscious about the way he looks down there or in general, turning the lights down or completely off may help take the visual focus off him and allow him to relax. If you’re planning on incorporating some visual techniques into your fellatio session, however, complete darkness isn’t going to work here. Candles are an excellent thing to have – everyone looks great in candlelight! The soft, flickering lighting will provide you with enough light to do your job (no pun intended) while discreetly hiding any physical flaws that he may be worried about.

You can also give him an erotic massage. While this is traditionally something that women enjoy getting from men but that does not mean that a good rubdown will not relax your partner and help get him into the mood. Grab some scented oil or plain lotion if you prefer and get to work! Stay focused in the neck and shoulder area and don’t be afraid to let your thumbs gently work their way in between the creases of his muscles – this is where the endorphins (those awesome, feel-good hormones) are released from.

Using Kissing And Communication

You can kiss him everywhere – his body and his lips. But a great make-out session before going down on your partner can help bring a slack penis to attention by mimicking on his lips what you’ll be doing to his penis in a few minutes. He will begin to imagine the way your lips will feel below his waist and by the time you get there, his penis might very well be ready for it! This is also a great turn-on for men that do not have difficulty getting an erection.

Your attitude plays a big part here, ladies. If your partner has difficulty getting or keeping an erection, it is important that you discuss with him things that you can do to help alleviate the situation in a non-judgmental way. And we really do mean non- judgmental here! If your partner even gets a whiff of a frustrated or upset attitude from you, he will most likely shut down completely. But it is important that you and your partner have this discussion, because although we list several things that may help you to give your partner an erection, none of them are foolproof and they are certainly not tailored to the individual guy. If you can get him to open up, your man could give you the key to what gets him hot and erect. Just be loving, supportive and open-minded.

How To Stimulate His Penis

Whether be it by handjob or with your mouth, it is important to give your partner’s penis some direct stimulation if you find that he has difficulty getting an erection. If you’re saving the oral stimulation for the main act, you can gently use your hands to bring his penis to life. Remember, a flaccid penis is a sensitive one so techniques that you would use on an erect penis can sometimes still apply here. Just be gentle! Stroke his penis and touch it tenderly, the way you would want to be touched to get aroused. Would you want your partner instantly rubbing your clitoris when you haven’t been warmed up at all? Exactly. Give him some stimulation and some time to get fully aroused if you and your partner find yourselves in this type of situation.

Pay attention to his head. Yes, the head of his penis. This is where the majority of the sensitive nerve endings are bundled up and what better way to get your partner’s penis erect than to give it a jump start! Try to stay away from areas that you know don’t have a whole lot of nerve endings, such as the base of the penis, because in reality it will be wasted effort. If you and your partner have had successful oral sex before, try some of his favorite techniques to get him going. Just experiment with what feels good to him and you should be off to the races in no time!

Begin licking immediately. You don’t have to wait for your partner to be hard before putting his penis in your mouth. Although with fellatio, the man is generally aroused beforehand, this is not always the case. It actually feels quite pleasurable for the man to have his entire penis wrapped up in your hot, warm mouth. With bigger penises, the only way to do this is while he is soft! Generally, a man who has difficulty getting an erection will begin to get hard while you are in the starting stages of fellatio. Just be patient and give him some time.

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