4 Ways To Make Sex More Spontaneous


Making sex more spontaneous is something that a lot of couples try to focus on when working on their sex lives. Spontaneity can bring a lot to people’s sex lives. This can bring passion and more intimacy to a couple with very little effort. It’s easy to fall into the trap of having the same old boring sex on the same day every week, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship. So in an effort to break this monotony, couples are engaging in more spontaneous and “in the moment” styles of sexual activity.

If you would like to take your sex life out of this rut, there are a few ways to make sex more spontaneous.

1. Toss The Schedule

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So many couples rely on a schedule for sex that it completely downgrades their sex lives. This schedule might not be set in stone or written down, but if you know that you always have sex on Saturday morning at 8am it’s probably time to toss the schedule.

A scheduled time to have sex will not only hinder the excitement, it can lead to less intimacy. A relationship is a partnership and having this set day to have sex can make it seem more like a chore than a meeting of the minds. Make a conscious decision to never follow a timetable in your sex life.

2. Always Have Condoms

While this rule might only appear to be geared toward men, it can also be applied to women. One of the biggest reasons that couples can’t have spontaneous sex is because of protection issues. It is a great idea to always carry condoms with you, but if you’re specifically trying to make your sex life more spontaneous, this is a must.

Having the proper protection with you at all times will prevent pregnancy and the spread of STDs. This can also give you a “ready anytime” attitude with your partner. This suggestion also extends to women. There are going to be times when your husband or boyfriend does not have condoms on him.

Surprise him by whipping your own stash when the moment strikes. There are a lot of women that consider using birth control for this very subject. Birth control can be a great way to add peace of mind and spontaneity to your relationship, but always check with your doctor beforehand. Different women have different side effects with the birth control they use so you want to bring any issues up with your physician.

3. Discover Each Other’s Fantasies

When you know what turns on your partner, you can easily avoid the pitfalls of mundane sex. Make it a point to share your fantasies with each other so you can spice up your love lives with some spontaneity. You can start to feel those butterflies at any moment and an opportunity might present itself in the blink of an eye.

Say your boyfriend has a roleplaying fantasy and you just happen to be dressed up as a sexy businesswoman. This is an excellent opportunity to take control of his desires and make your sex life a little less ordinary. When you share each other’s fantasies he will also be able to take you up on a spurt of the moment romp. This can also work for women.

Say that your girlfriend has a fantasy of being taken by a mechanic. You’re working on your car one day and boom, she is instantly turned on. Communicate with each other your sex life will thrive.

4. Have Date Nights During The Week

Date nights are usually relegated to Friday or Saturday nights. Why not shake things up a bit and turn date night upside down by utilizing it during the week? Tuesday, Wednesday or even Monday night can give you a little something extra to look forward to when you have a spontaneous date night. Men are expected to make the plans for the date and oversee all of the details.

If you want to have a more spontaneous romance, the woman can take control. Surprise your husband or boyfriend with a date night in the middle of the week. Plan everything yourself and simply tell him that you’re taking him out. This is a great way to break up the week and add to the spontaneity.

A great date night is to meet each other in a bar and pretend that you have first met. Have your boyfriend try to pick you up for some extra spontaneity.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
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