How To Work It – From A Chick Who Knows What Works!


Oh ladies, we’ve all been there! You are in the midst of sexual play and you think to yourself, “Now would be a good time to get that telepathic message through of what I like and don’t like.”  However, these thoughts tend to come to us when we are in the middle of the action which doesn’t tend to be the best of times to voice our “I’d like it better if’s…..”

You’ve gotta give a guy credit for trying and you certainly don’t want to bash his ego or deter him from making an effort to please you.  So, take a mental note of what you like, or changes to his moves you’d like to see and very gingerly bring them up at a more appropriate time (outside of the bedroom?).

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Well, that or have him read my suggestions here!  Funny how you just ‘happened’ to come across this article and ‘wouldn’t this be fun to try?’  Okay so cat’s out of the bag if he’s actually reading THIS part, but fellas–some technique tips FROM a woman about how to WORK your woman can put your TALENTS in a whole new league!!!

She’ll Appreciate the Little Things.

First of all I’m going to assume you’ve made an attempt to set the mood. Women don’t necessarily always NEED a mood set but definitely appreciate it when an effort is made, and this article, is about what women WANT, not just what’s passable. It doesn’t have to be like this EVERY time, but this is what we like.

Show your desire for intimacy early on – flirt. Slide up behind her and give her a little squeeze early in the day. It’s the little things – always.  Yes, candles, music, wine and NOT rushing into penetration count BIG TIME.  In fact, spending TIME on foreplay is beneficial to both of you.

You’ll bring her to a place of unbelievable excitement and you should definitely expect the same in return.  Kissing is so important to women because it’s so intimate. Kiss her slowly and don’t just kiss her lips. Work that neck, kiss her hand, up the inside of her forearm. Enjoy it; spend some time.

The KEY is to NOT do this stuff because you HAVE  to but do it and genuinely take each other in.

Move onto holding her close. Feel her body while her clothes are still on. Get her worked up so she wants to be naked as badly as you do.  Undress her and make it known that you desire every part of her body as you display it.  I’m hoping she’d respond and undress you as well.

Continue the Savoring!

Once the clothing has fallen away don’t just jump to the TARGET areas. Continue the savoring!  Kiss her, caress her, touch her hair, trace the lines of her body. The Coles Notes on the first part of the article are:  Make it known you treasure her and desire her– it WILL pay off!

The Detailed Technique

Now, getting down to detailed technique. When it comes to more involved sexual contact, one tid bit that I find makes women want you at a heightened level is to learn to master TEASING while pleasing. Don’t just dive into oral sex. Start with your hands. Look at making great sex like a meal (dinner before dessert!).

When you begin to sexually touch your woman use a feather light touch to start. Stay on the perimeter – the crease where her legs join her body.  Once you do have your fingers working her most intimate parts ensure you are paying VERY close attention to what she’s responding to and, most importantly, to what she’s responding to MORE.

Widen Your Focus

All too many men focus on manipulating the clitoris. What they don’t realize is that getting a woman turned on prior to that point will cause her to have greater swelling of that spot which leads to increased pleasure.  Keep the area warmed.  Cupping with your hand or breathing warm air from your mouth also stimulates blood flow (a.k.a. excitement).

If you know your woman prefers to use a lubricant during sex, start with that early while you are playing with her and not only for penetration.  Everyone should know that lubrication makes everything feel better whether you are able to induce that from her naturally or not.

When it comes to working with your fingers, start slow. That doesn’t only mean with one finger at a time, but make the insertion slow. Move in and out with just the tip to begin, up to the first knuckle. Are you getting the point here? It’s all about stages and gauging her reaction.

Continue to use your fingers softly on her clitoris as well remembering that there are sensations on the sides and all around this spot not only from the top where guys tend to focus.  When you are ready to take it to the next level for oral sex, remember that you can alternate and still use your fingers .

Start Oral Slowly

For oral sex I also suggest a slow/teasing start. Work the outside before going in for the magic button.  Make your tongue soft and loose when you are in contact with her clitoris There is nothing worse than a guy who just has one licking motion and for some reason thinks speed is exciting. It’s NOT!

There is the licking technique with a nice soft tongue, you can also flatten your tongue against her clitoris and move your head in a circular motion while breathing warm breath onto her.

Just a few suggestions but again,ultimately you want her feedback and hopefully you’ll know from her reactions what she REALLY enjoys.  Watch for the moments when she seems like she wants you even more pulling you in, breathing, moaning.

When she can no longer take it and wants you to move into penetration remember that ENTRY is another whole stage you don’t want to rush over.

Don’t Rush Penetration

Tease her. Go slowly. Don’t just thrust like you’re in a rush. After all, imagine how the rest of things are going to go if you have your woman at a stage where she’s clawing to have you when you are only starting to enter.

From there on in I’m sure you can use your own techniques.  Remember, slow and attentive, not throughout, but at least for the build up makes for an ending where excitement will be taken to a whole new level.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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