Q&A: How Do I Stop Day Dreaming During Sex?


Going from a busy, stressful day to sex without some time to wind down may leave you thinking about everything during sex but sex! If you find this happening to you, you’re not alone. Here’s how you can stop thinking about your to-do list, chores, television and bills and start thinking about having great, satisfying sex!

Question: When my bf and I have intercourse, I always find myself thinking about things non related to sex. How do I focus more about what’s going on rather than something like a tv show?

–YouTube Viewer


Sex On The To-Do List

The Little Black Book of Sex Positions
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Many women have a difficult time turning their brains off when it comes time to get in the mood for sex. A woman’s brain, emotions and physical sensations are all interlinked and if her brain is going haywire, her body and emotions aren’t going to sync up either. Many women feel as though sex is actually a chore on their to-do list instead of something they find relaxing and enjoyable. So if you find your mind wandering when you’re trying to have sex and reach climax, you are most certainly not alone. Some women think they can’t do anything about it, but the truth is, you can!

How To Relax

Make a conscious decision to stop what you’re doing, put away everything from the day, and focus on getting ready for sex. Get yourself to relax by listening to whatever music gets you in the mood, reading a book (erotic novels are a great way to get your mind and body ready for sex) or taking a hot bath with a glass of your favorite wine. Putting your thoughts about the day behind you and the day ahead of you isn’t going to be easy, but it is most certainly not impossible. It will require effort though, and determination on your part to make sex a priority in your life. Turn off the television or computer, and do what gets you turned on the most. Give yourself time to warm up though, because getting in the mood for sex may not happen right away.

Is He Pleasuring You?

A lot of women don’t reach orgasm through sex and the culprit could be one of two things. A woman who can’t relax enough to let sex take over her body and mind will have a difficult time reaching orgasm no matter how hard her partner tries. On the other hand, a completely relaxed woman won’t orgasm if her partner simply rushes to reach his own climax. Encourage your partner to do some research on female orgasms and how he can help pleasure you better. Everyone has something to learn about sex, even if they feel like they’re a seasoned pro. During sex, don’t be afraid to let your partner know if you like something or if something feels good. If you give him lots of vocal reassurance about what he’s doing right, he’s going to want to keep doing that! With you relaxed and ready for sex after you’ve put the day’s activities behind you and your partner taking the initiative to pleasure you, you’ll find that you think about sex and how much fun you’re having way more than you’re thinking about television or bills!

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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