I’m Dating Again but My Sex Drive is Gone… Do I Stand a Chance?


Is your low sex drive causing you problems with your partner? Does she think you don’t love her anymore?

Maybe you’ve even stayed single because of it. So how can you find someone who will understand and love you for who you are?

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And is there a way to increase sex drive?

The Question

I am 45, male, single and haven’t had a girlfriend for a few years. I somehow can’t  see that as an option anymore, which makes me quite sad, as I do meet women I really like and vice versa.

The thing is that I physically don’t have much of a libido anymore and I usually get ill after any sexual activity. Although my health is not too bad in general and I feel quite young, the sexual side of me seems to have come to an end. When I was younger, sexuality was a strong urge but not so, any more.

So my question is: How can I relate to women who have some romantic idea about me and who I do like a lot. Is there such a thing as a loving relationship without sex?  I’d love to see a poll result, as I feel like a total outsider.
I guess if someone has been married for a long time, this would be seen as boredom with each other. Or the focus would have shifted to something else, eg. raising kids, etc. So that would be quite normal, I guess. But how do singles feel about that, I wonder?

The Answer

A close, loving, but non-sexual relationship is definitely possible.

I firmly believe there truly is someone for everyone. More than that, there are many people for everyone, and you’ll always find the right person when you’re truly ready for that person to enter your life.

Just like there are people out there who can’t stand coffee and others who don’t drink any alcohol, there are certainly those who wish for a happy relationship but for whatever reason aren’t interested in sex.

Could one of the women that you meet in your everyday life be the one? No telling, but it never hurts to try. Just be open to the possibility of finding just the right person for you, and you may be surprised. Of course, focus on your strengths and what you have to offer her, not on the sexual issue.

How can you find someone with very specific sexual needs?

The low sex drive issue could be a challenge and may require a broader search.

Well, this is where online dating can be a really big help. In a very clinical way, think of it as catalog shopping for people online. You get to specify all the specific criteria that’s important to you, and hopefully the online dating website matches you with someone that fits you. Of course it’s not exactly that basic, but in summary that really is how it works…

Your best bet with online dating is to sign up with one of the top online dating sites. For example, try Yahoo Personals.

Then create your profile be very specific about what you want. Focus on the love and romance that you’re truly seeking. You may be surprised how many women will jump at the chance to meet a man who wants a romantic relationship, instead of so many others who are mostly focused on sex.

But remember that online dating is really just about introductions. In fact, it could well have been called “online introductions” – that would have been much more accurate. Be sure to take the relationship into the real world as soon as you find someone you feel could be right for you. There’s no substitute for seeing someone in person that very first time. The energy, the chemistry, the physical attraction… those things just don’t show online.

Can the joy of sex be restored?

Depending on the medical specifics of the condition, sex drive can often be restored. There are lots of medical options, treatment programs, and supplements available that will increase your sex drive.

Consider this option and research all your possibilities. Consult a couple of doctors, maybe even a sex therapist, and get multiple opinions. Treat this like any other problem that you would research until you solved it.

Sex can be a wonderful and exciting.

When I talk about sex, I’m really referring to the entire sexual experience, not just intercourse. Many people just think of missionary position (yes, only with the lights off) when thinking about sex.

But there is SO much more. From playful seductive teasing, to going on a hot date as a prelude to a night of passionate lovemaking… And just lusting after that special person and getting excited just thinking about being with them, and doing naughty things to and with them. 🙂 That’s just a taste of the magical wonders of sex.

So don’t just accept that you will never again experience the joy of sex. If this is at all important to you, fight for it and find an answer.

In Summary

One way or another, you’ve very likely to find the right person for you, no matter your situation, preferences, and special needs

  • On the low sex drive issue, consult several professionals and try to find a solution. Assuming you wish to enjoy sex again of course.
  • Be open to the possibility, and even expect to have the perfect person for you wonder into your life. It can happen. Expect it.
  • Consider online dating to find the person matching your very specific needs or sexual preferences. Choosing from millions of people can really open up your options in those cases.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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