Sex is sometimes just sex and other times it’s “making love” – this happens when you really open yourself up to someone you care... continue reading
Sex is sometimes just sex and other times it’s “making love” – this happens when you really open yourself up to someone you care about.
How Do You Best Distinguish Between The Two?
“Just sex” usually takes place outside the context of a loving relationship – one-night stands for example. People get horny – so they get laid, it’s that simple. Men and women use each other to get an orgasm or two. Motivation is mostly physical and very little, if at all, emotional. In fact, emotional entanglements are avoided and little consideration is given to the partner’s enjoyment.
“Making love,” as especially seen by women, is more romantic – more tender, respectful and considerate. It’s what lovers do. The people involved have feelings and emotional investments on each other. Motivation is both physical and emotional.
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- If lust shoves the penis down her throat, love slides it in while caressing her cheek.
- If lust ejaculates on her face, love is kissing her tenderly.
- If lust is fast, short & furious, love is sensual, slow and romantic.
- If lust is purely physical, love is largely emotional & psychological.
- If lust is penile penetration, love is penetration – and more.
Are There Any “Gray” Areas?
Although at first glance, the two may seem like night and day, but there are actually a lot of gray areas between the two. Differences can be very subtle and one could argue that they’re really one and the same. The two cannot be objectively evaluated in terms of actions, and it’s not as if they are mutually exclusive. There isn’t really much difference in terms of actuations.
“Making love” can be passionate as well as fast and furious. “Just sex” can also be sensual and slow. People in loving relationships can have sex just for the heck of it. And even one-night stands can come with romance, albeit not very often.
Pay Attention To Your Emotions
It’s in the perception and interpretation of the players. It is FELT, not seen. It is in the individual to perceive whether what’s happening is simply lust, or a combination of lust, like and love or something else.
If a woman interprets things one way, then that’s what it is! If over time, she changes her mind, and develops feelings and sees the two of you as ‘making love’, then FOR HER, it’s making love.
If it’s “just sex” to you, then FOR YOU, it’s just sex.
What If You’re Not On The Same Page With Your Lover?
Unpleasant surprises arise when partners’ views don’t match. She’s making love, and he’s just in it for the sex. And because they have differing perceptions, they consequently have incongruous expectations and behaviors. She expects him to be generous and loving, but since they’re not on the same page, he might not be those things at all!
A great lover avoids unnecessary complications by making sure they’re both on the same page. Playing with women’s emotions is NOT cool!