Sex tips will tell you how to have better sex, but what about whether you should have sex at all? Here are four indications you shouldn’t... continue reading
Sex tips will tell you how to have better sex, but what about whether you should have sex at all? Here are four indications you shouldn’t get busy.
1. You Don’t Have Protection
We’re not talking about handguns here.
Of all the reasons not to do it, this is the biggest one, and it should be a no brainer, but sadly it’s not. If you don’t have condoms, you should not sleep with someone. Period.
I know, I know. You’re already there, both parties are willing and they swear they’re clean. They’ve totally been tested recently and they passed with flying colors. Nothing could possibly go wrong here, right? Seriously? You have to ask?
You don’t need to look at government statistics. Way too many STD’s or unplanned pregnancies stem from this scenario. If you don’t have protection, don’t sleep with someone. And don’t just assume we’re talking about condoms here. This includes dental dams for rimming or oral sex, and latex gloves if you plan on fingering or fisting someone.
They may think they’re clean, maybe their last test was. But you could still catch a disease, like say herpes for which there is no relable test. If you aren’t prepared, don’t do it. So the moral of the story is if you want to sleep with someone, always have protection on you
2. You Don’t Really Want To
There are many reasons you might find yourself in a position to hook up with someone you aren’t super excited to. Maybe you’re in a slump and you just want to end it by any means necessary. Maybe you’re on an online date and this person is all about you and you don’t feel the same way. Maybe you know you want to watch Sportscenter instead. If you’re not feeling it for one reason or another, you shouldn’t sleep with someone. It’s not going to be that good for you, and it won’t be for them either, and if you’re a guy you might not perform as well as you would normally.
This temporary performance issue can lead to serious consequences long term for you and could make the other person feel unwanted or unattractive, which can cause confidence issues for them too. Now that’s one big shit sandwich. If you really aren’t super excited to sleep with someone you probably shouldn’t. I’m not saying you need to be in love with the person, but if getting them naked doesn’t make you feel like a kid of Christmas, you should probably consider passing.
3. Your Spidey Sense Is Tingling
None of us are perfect. We all have baggage in our past and skeletons in our closet. So don’t go running if the person you go home with doesn’t exactly have what it takes to be a foot model. But if they takes off their shoes and the smell is so bad the EPA tries to regulate the emissions, you might not want to sleep with this person.
If this person seems super negative, or high maintenance, or exhibits any of your “deal breakers,” just move on. And above all, if they seem super crazy or clingy or needy, just bail. If your intuition is telling you something is wrong now, just move on. It’s not like it’s going to go away. You’ll never hear anyone say: “Yeah, I thought he/she was kind of crazy after they said they like to kill small animals while listening to Justin Bieber, but it turns out they’re the love of my life.” That just does not happen. Period.
If you have doubts, any doubts at all, do not have sex with someone. This, like all rules should be taken with a grain of salt. If you find that everyone who wants to sleep with you makes you have doubts, then well, that’s your bad. You should be mindful to make sure you aren’t the problem. If you don’t want to sleep with them because they own a PC and you’re a Mac user, well, that’s not the most valid reason not to engage in intercourse, but to each their own.
4. They’re Way Tanked (Or You Are)
We’ve all hooked up at a bar, or when we were tipsy. But when someone is super tanked, you probably shouldn’t sleep with them. Some states consider that sexual assault as the person is not sober enough to give consent. You might wake up next to someone you’d claw your arm off not to wake up next to. The only thing worse than waking up with post drunken one night stand regret is to be super happy with the person you hooked up with, because it means they’re looking at you with regret. Better to wait till your somewhat sober.