Hookup Commandments To Live By


Sex tips are not just for relationships. These can also cover hookups. Here are the commandments that real men and women are saying you MUST follow in order to avoid awkwardness and still have fun.

What She Said (For Girls)

1.    Thou Shalt Bring Protection

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You can buy condoms anywhere and they are super easy to carry around with you. Do it, keep them close at all times. You might also want to bring a small tube of lubricant around with you.

2.    Thou Shalt Get Off

Just because it’s a hook up, and men have been known to wham bam and thank you ma’am, does not mean you can’t “rock, sock and thank you jock.” You have every right to tell him what you need, where you need it and not to stop.  Or climb on top and take matters into your own hands.

Basically just because you are a woman doesn’t mean you can’t get off too. Use sex toys if you have them or if he has them, but remember to put a condom on them.

3.    Thou Shalt Not Leave Anything At His Place

Especially if it is intentional!  If you think that by leaving your earrings or panties etc is a hot move it is not!  Guys see through that.  They think you are either desperate for another romp, or careless. Be discreet, aside from a few scratch marks, you should leave nothing at his place.

4.    Thou Shalt Suggest Breakfast In The Morning

Maybe you know of a great diner near you, or he knows of one near him.  Regardless if the night ended well, why not refuel.  Who knows it might lead to a little afternoon delight.

5.    Thou Shalt Not Be Forced To Cuddle

If you are staying over, or he is staying at your place cuddling is not a given.  You should not feel obligated to be the little spoon nor should you feel that he should spoon you. Sleep how you would if you were alone, but seeing how you two just shared fluids, you should make sure you share the covers.

6.    Thou Shalt Not Expect A Relationship

Sometimes hook ups end up being more, sometimes they are all they need to be. Either way, enjoy the moment and don’t expect anything out of it.

7.    Thou Shalt Make Sure He Is Single

Don’t be that girl!  Even if you don’t know his girlfriend, respect their relationship.  I don’t care how hot the guy may be, he is obviously a scumbag if he is ok with cheating.

8.    Thou Shalt Have A Morning After Outfit

Keep an extra pair of jeans, t-shirt and shoes in your car.  When you are in casual clothes, the walk of shame becomes just a walk.

What He Said (For Guys)

1. Thou Shalt Text The Morning After, No Matter What

It doesn’t matter if you regret it. Or if it was bad, or if it was good, but you never want to see that person again. You should always aspire to leave someone better than you found them in all circumstances. Hooking up is no different.

The morning after text, if you will, is part of that. Being used in a fun way is one thing, but just plain being used is not fun. This is especially important for guys to remember.

For women, sex is a choice, for guys it’s a chore. If you leave this girl on bad terms, you’re not messing it up for yourself, you’re messing it up for every guy that will come after you. So be classy and master the art of the dismount. Or none of us will get laid ever again.

2. Thou Shalt Be Realistic

This is basically just sex, and by basically, I mean totally. It’s not a romantic comedy. It’s not going to lead to a wonderful romance with the person of your dreams, at least it’s not likely too. You want some ass, they want some ass and then you can both meet in the middle.

Don’t get all Oprah on them. Don’t’ ask about their puppies or their childhood or what they like to do when they’re not having sex with you. They don’t care about your background and you shouldn’t about theirs.

3. Thou Shalt Not Worry About Them Getting Theirs

One of the nicest things about hooking up is that there’s no pretense about it. You don’t have to pretend to care about them, or their feelings, or whether they get off. Get yours and getting theirs is their problem.

4. Thou Shalt Think Of This As Batting Practice

You may not care about the person you’re banging randomly, but there will come a time when you meet someone you really do care about and maybe even love. You might want to spend the rest of your life with them.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
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