Sex tips are a great way to spice up a dull sexual relationship – but has yours passed “dull” and seems unrevivable? If so, check... continue reading
Sex tips are a great way to spice up a dull sexual relationship – but has yours passed “dull” and seems unrevivable? If so, check out these simple tips!
What She Said:
Sex is always the first thing to go when relationships are going sour. But, it can also have peaks and valleys during relationships. The difference between having a dry spell or being in a bad relationship is being able to distinguish between the two. When it is just a lull in the relationship, then both of you are still into each other but might be stressed out, or busy but you two don’t avoid talking about your lack of an intimate life.
Most importantly you are able to talk about how bad you want each other, even when you can’t have each other. When sex is really dead, you don’t talk about it. One or both of you might start holding on to a grudge or hurt feelings, but you don’t look for solutions. And if one partner brings up the subject, the other partner avoids talking about it or changes the subject. Every relationship has a honeymoon stage where you two go at like like rabbits. In time, the honeymoon stage dies down and you guys might get into a comfy routine.
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There is nothing wrong with routine but there should always be a spark between the two of you. You should always be trying new things and constantly changing things up. Another sign of a dead sex life is when it stops feeling good or neither one of you are excited about it. You might find yourself avoiding your partner so you don’t have to have sex or being in the middle of it and bored out of your mind.
If you find yourself agreeing to have sex because your partner did something nice or its been a few weeks and you should just do it, then your sex life is dead. Sex changes in intensity and frequency but if you find yourself dreading sleeping with him, avoiding it, or worse he is turning you down and avoiding you, then the sex life is dead.
What He Said:
Are you still having sex? If so, then your sex life isn’t technically dead. That said, if you’re having intercourse because you know you’re supposed to or you only give him a blowjob because you have to because it’s his birthday then this is not so good of a sign.
If you aren’t having sex any more, it may be because of duties, pressures, or obligations, or it could mean you’re falling out of love with your partner. That doesn’t mean you’re going to cheat or that you should break up, just that you might want to take some time and really think about your relationship’s honeymoon phase and what made you fall in love with that person in the first place (or fall in lust, depending on the nature of the relationship). The more you can recall those memories, the richer more vibrant they begin to appear in your mind, the better.
You will need to talk to your partner. Communication is key here, and so is effort. You will both have to “work” to bring the sexy back and it may take time. I say “work” because it’s not really work, just dedicated, consistent effort. You don’t have to work to make your car go, you just put gas in the tank and turn the key.
The same will be need for your sex life. Wild, hot nasty sex can mean many things anal sex, oral sex, wife swapping or swinging or just a quickie during half time. Figure out what your mutually agreed definition is and work backwards and give yourself time to get it back, it will come, but don’t put any pressure on yourselves. Try and make the rediscovery of your passion a fun and enjoyable process.
Sooner rather than later you’ll be enjoying wild, hot, nasty vacation style sex that would make porn stars feel shy and inhibited. But don’t compare yourselves to them or anyone else. If you both only really want to do it once a month, and you’re both okay with that, great! But if you want more, say it, and then do it. It may take a bit of practice, but hey, that’s the fun part, right?