Sex is an essential component in every intimate partnership and without it, the partnership can suffer. Whether you’re just having a dry... continue reading
Sex is an essential component in every intimate partnership and without it, the partnership can suffer. Whether you’re just having a dry spell, or you’ve recently discovered that you and your new love interest aren’t physically compatible, it’s no fun when the sex is bad.
What if everything else is going great, though? Should you end things in the pursuit of better sex? Should you suffer through the subpar sex as long as everything else is peachy? Believe it or not, if you’re willing to put in some effort on your own part, you may find you’ll have to do neither.
Does Bad Sex Equal A Break Up?
If the sex is bad and you’re not that compatible elsewhere, then breaking up makes perfect sense. If everything else in your relationship is good, though, you can’t let a bad sex life ruin things for you. Discussing the state of your sex life can be uncomfortable, but you owe it to yourself and your partner to talk openly about it.
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If you’re not having sex at all, you should just flat out address it with your S.O. Depression and stress can significantly lower people’s libido, so your partner may just be preoccupied. Don’t take that as an affront, but work with your mate to get back into the habit of having more sex. Tell them that you miss having sex because you really enjoy it, and see if you can’t start having sex a little more often.
Don’t be pushy, and allow them to ease back in. The funny thing about having more sex is that the more you have it, the more you want it. Over the course of a few weeks, you could find you’ve both gotten back into the swing of things.
Give Your Partner Pointers
What if you are having sex, and it’s just terrible? How do you create a better sex life? You don’t have to be as straightforward about this at first. The next time you’re doing the deed, playfully suggest that you try something new, like oral sex or anal sex.
Our partners, whether male or female, typically do want to satisfy us. They’re never more open to receiving a few gentle pointers than when you’re both in the heat of the moment. Be careful not to be critical of what they’re doing wrong.
Just steer them away from whatever they’re bad at by giving them new ideas. If subtle hints don’t work, then you will need to sit down and have a serious discussion about it. You may even want to seek out a therapist together. At the very least, you might want to research better sex tips online and in books. Discuss your findings together, and try to be open minded. Don’t be surprised if your mate offers up some criticism of their own.
They may become defensive and get upset when they find out that you’re not having the good time they thought you were. On the other hand, they may be relieved and admit that things haven’t been going well for them, either. Most importantly, you need to make sure that they understand that the reason you want to improve your sex life is because you love them and want to make sex better between the two of you.
Communication Is The Most Important Tool You Have
When it comes to having better and more sex, communication is the key. If you can handle things diplomatically, you’ll probably get the results you want. Keep the mood light and word things as kindly as possible. If there’s anything that your partner does that you do enjoy, such as oral sex, point it out.
Compliment them where you can, and the more negative remarks won’t seem as hurtful. Try to put yourself in their shoes and tell them in the way you’d want to be told. Be tactful, and remind them of how much you love them. If you both really care about each other, you’ll find a way to make it work.