The Secret Cure For A Dwindling Sex Life


One Christmas a girlfriend of mine handed out packages to our little group of friends.  One by one my friends opened their packages containing beautiful flannel pajamas from Neiman’s with high-healed shoes all over them.

But my package didn’t contain pajamas. Mine contained a book and some toiletries.  Embarrassed, my friend said, “Well, I know you sleep naked, so I had to think of something else!”  I just laughed.

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This particular woman has had marital difficulties as long as I have known her.  Somehow she and her husband managed to have a child; I don’t really know how they did I considering they almost never have sex.  The other women have modest sex lives, I’m sure.

Sleeping naked has many rewards

What I know for sure is that they don’t have as rewarding and active a sex life as they could if they are wearing pajamas to bed!

Wearing your birthday suit to bed offers many rewards.  Not the least of which is that it makes sex a lot more likely to happen.  Here is my list of the advantages of sleeping naked with your partner:

  1. Increased oxytocin.  Oxytocin is a hormone released with skin-to-skin contact.  Touching skin-to-skin from head to toe all night long provides us with a steady stream of this beneficial hormone.  Some of the benefits of oxytocin are: increased sense of well-being; decreased heart rate; and reduction of stress hormones, increased sense of trust, and…. Drum roll…. Sexual arousal!
  2. Getting into “the mood” for sex is hard for women. We tend to stay in our heads and worry about being tired, or that the kids will hear, or whatever we are stressing about that day.  This does not put us in the mood for sexual contact; in fact it tends to make us feel more alone and isolated. Many women will simply answer “Not tonight, dear” if asked if they want to have sex just because they have too much going on in their heads.  Getting skin-to-skin stimulates sexual feelings no matter whom you are or what is going on in your head.
  3. One of the strongest detriments for having sex is a sense of disconnect between the couple.  When we feel disconnected from our partner, we lose a sense of desire for them.  This is why good communication that involves respect and empathy helps us to feel more sexual toward each other. Sleep naked breaks down those psychological barriers.
  4. Sleeping skin-to-skin increases our sense of bonding.  Think about it, when you are first dating you can’t keep your hands off each other can you? When you have a baby you can’t keep your hands off of them either.  Bonding increases with skin-to-skin contact.

You will have sex more often.  Being close and naked makes it a lot easier to move into being sexual together.

Before you protest too much…

Okay, okay, I know what you are going to say, “I can’t sleep without clothes on!” Anytime you change a routine it takes time to adjust.  Your body is just used to your sleeping with clothing touching its skin.  It will get used to being naked, eventually.

My entire life I had slept on my side curled up in the fetal position.  There are pictures of me like this as a child.  Yet when I had shoulder surgery I could not sleep that way. I was forced to learn to sleep on my back.  It was hard the first couple of nights, but I got used to it. You’ll get used to sleeping naked, too.

Now the other argument I hear is that you’d be too cold.  Well, if you are cold, get an electric blanket!

Excuses, excuses

All of these seem like excuses to me. If you don’t want to have sex more often that’s a sign of needing help.  We are programmed through biology to want to be sexual. If something is interfering with that desire you need to check it out.

Make sure there is not something physical going on (it could be hormones).  Then get yourself to a psychologist to find out what is blocking your desire.  It could be problems in the marriage or it could be problems from your past, but it’s not natural to not want to be sexual with your partner.

The benefits of sleeping nude

Even Dr. Oz stated he is a proponent of couples sleeping naked.  A month or two ago he appeared on Oprah and told the world that if you want to increase your sex life, thereby increasing your overall health, you should sleep naked.

Having more sex has many health benefits and increases the chances of your marriage lasting. Okay, I am not talking marathon sex here; I am also not talking having sex five times a day, once or twice a day can do wonders. Having sex at least once a day increases our general health and well-being.

Spending half an hour a day in the most enjoyable and healthy exercise you can partake you will live longer, feel more satisfied with your life, and be healthier. Not to mention it will do increase the odds of your marriage living as long as you do!

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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