When Is A Woman Physically Ready To Have Sex?


Sex ed programs in schools and all over the country can leave a lot to be desired when it comes to learning about sex and when the right time to do it is. How do you know your body is prepared to have sex for the first time? How do you know your body is primed? How do you know that you’re emotionally prepared for it and are prepared to deal with the consequences that having sex (even protected) can sometimes bring? Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if you really are prepared – or if you should wait.

Question: I feel ready to have sex. I know it and I have no doubts about it. So emotionally, I’m more than OK. But physically, when is the right age for a woman to have sex? I got my period 2 years ago and I am WELL informed on birth control and STD’s. I even know how to put on a condom.

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Being Emotionally Ready For Sex

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It’s easy to think you’re emotionally prepared for it because this is something that pretty much every sex ed program in the country doesn’t discuss. In fact, with the far majority of sex ed programs discussing how to say “no” and the benefits of abstinence, very few of them actually do approach the topic of when the right time actually is.

There are many consequences that having sex can bring, and thinking through the consequences before actually doing it is an important part of becoming emotionally prepared to do it for the first time.

Thinking Through The Consequences

Before you make the decision to have sex, take some time to imagine the different consequences that could arise from having sex right now. Think about what you might do in a given situation, and don’t be afraid to talk to your partner and get on the same page with them about what actions you both would take if one of these situations would arise.

What Will You Do If You Get Pregnant?

Even if you take steps to protect yourself during intercourse (such as using condoms), the risk of an unwanted pregnancy still exists. In fact, even with condoms, spermicide, birth control and pulling out, there still is a tiny, tiny chance that an egg could become fertilized. Having safer sex is all about reducing your risks, however, you must realize that the only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy is to abstain from it completely.

That said, take some time to think about what would happen if you actually did become pregnant after having sex. What options are available to you? Would you consider abortion, or adoption? Would you consider rearranging your life to raise a baby? Think about the steps you would take if you were to get pregnant so you have a plan of action if the situation would actually come up.

What Will You Do If You Get A Sexually Transmitted Disease?

Any sex ed program will tell you – even if you use condoms during sex, it is possible to contract an STD from a partner that is infected. Before committing to have sex, think about what protection you’re going to put into place to reduce your risk of getting an STD. Will you use condoms? Will you get regular STD and HIV testing done? Will you require your partner to have an STD test?

You may also want to do some research on how different STD’s are transmitted and how they are treated. HIV is a very scary disease, but with modern technology and medical treatments, the life expectancy of an HIV positive person is almost that of a healthy person. Some STD’s are treated with antibiotics, while others cannot be “cured.”

What Will You Do If You Break Up With The Person You Lost Your Virginity To?

Condoms and birth control can reduce your risk of unwanted pregnancy and STD’s, however, they can’t reduce the risk you take of not being with the person you lost your virginity to forever. Before committing to taking this step with someone, take some time to think out how you might feel if you end up breaking up with the person you lost your virginity to. Are you going to be emotionally or mentally scarred? Will you be able to move on with your life and still have healthy relationships with others?

When Your Body Lets You Know You’re Ready For Reproduction

This is basic sex ed – a girl’s body is prepared for reproduction when she begins having her period. This simply means that the ovaries are dropping eggs and because they’re unfertilized, a girl has her period and sheds the lining of the uterus. It actually has nothing to do with whether a girl is really prepared for it or not, because just because your body is saying that it is primed to make a baby, doesn’t mean that it’s time for you to go there.

More and more girls are starting to get their periods at a younger age, sometimes even as young as ten or eleven (and in rare cases, even younger than that). This solidifies the fact that just because a girl has started her period, it does not mean she is ready to have sex with a man.

No One Can Decide For You

Remember that deciding to have sex (or not to have sex) is something that only you can decide for yourself. Your parents may not want you to do it yet and your friends may be urging you to do it, but only you and your partner can decide when the right time to have intercourse really is. And even if your partner decides that he’s prepared, the ultimate decision is really up to you and you alone. Don’t let anyone try to take your decision away from you.

Make Sure You’re With The Right Person

While you may feel emotionally and physically ready to have intercourse for the first time, stop and think about if you’re really with the right person. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to lose my virginity to this person?” Make sure your partner is someone that you care deeply about (and who also cares deeply about you) and that they’re someone you can truly trust and depend on. Don’t just do it for the sake of doing it, because you could be making a huge mistake.

If you wait until you’re really prepared to have intercourse and you wait until you’re in the right relationship, it is going to be much better and much more rewarding than if you had simply given in to someone you really didn’t care about just to get it over with.

Keep The Laws In Mind

While the last thing you’re probably thinking about is when you’re legally okay to have sex, if you’re younger than eighteen, it’s important to think about the legal aspect of things. Statutory rape is not something your partner wants on his record (if he’s older than you). It’s also something that you don’t want on your record if you’re older than eighteen and your partner is younger. Keep in mind that the legal age to give sexual consent is usually eighteen and is actually seventeen in some states. Play it safe and make sure you’re keeping everything legal.

Get Informed

Don’t assume that your local sex ed program is going to give you all the information you need to know on having intercourse and how to do it safely, especially if the only sex ed program offered in your area is an abstinence only course. Take some time to research the different aspects of sex, how to enjoy it, how to make your partner enjoy it and how to keep it safe, fun and clean. Think about oral and anal sex too, and how to stay safe during those activities too. Remember that knowledge is power.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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