The Right Way To Give Her A Sex Toy


Sex toys can make an excellent gift for special occasions like anniversaries or for Valentine’s Day, but getting the right thing can be trickier than you originally anticipated. It’s easy to select something that your girl wouldn’t like, or even something that would upset her or offend her. This is even easier to do if you and your lover don’t communicate regularly about what she does and doesn’t like during sex.

However, you needn’t shy away from gifting your girl a sex toy all together, because if you choose something she really likes, it can be key to jump starting your sex life! Here’s how to choose a sex toy that your girl will like, and how to give it to her as a gift without upsetting her.

Pay Attention To What She Likes During Sex

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Think about what your girl likes when you have sex with her. Think about what brings her to orgasm the fastest, or makes her go completely wild! Does she like a lot of clitoral stimulation to take her over the edge? Does she like a “full” feeling in her vagina? Does she like both clitoral and g-spot stimulation at the same time? Decoding what she wants during sex is going to be your biggest clue to selecting a sex toy that meets her needs and satisfies her desires. It will also let you know what to stay away from.

If she doesn’t reach orgasm very well with vaginal stimulation alone, getting her a sex toy that doesn’t stimulate the clitoris (and only stimulates the vagina) is a bad idea. This will tell her that you a) don’t pay attention to what she likes during sex and b) that all you really want to do is shove stuff inside her. So think about what she really, really enjoys during sex and go for a sex toy that stimulates that area of her body. If she totally digs nipple stimulation when she’s ready to climax, gift her with a sweet pair of nipple clamps or nipple vibrators – but don’t go for the crazy, BDSM looking ones.

Go For High Quality, “Luxury” Toys

When giving a sex toy as a gift, a cheap rubber toy from that one store in the mall is just going to disappoint her. That’s honestly something she could have gotten herself if she wanted it. Many of those toys are cheaply made and can actually cause allergic reactions and can even increase the risk of cervical cancer due to the materials the toys are made out of. Many of those toys are also designed as “gag gifts” – so giving her a toy like this can only be bad news.

Instead, shop for a high end, quality luxury toy either online or in your local adult store. This is one of those times that name brand actually matters – most “name brand” sex toy manufacturers (for example, LELO or Jimmy Jane) make their toys out of body safe silicone or hard plastic, and they not only feel great, they look incredible. They’re sleek, chic and totally high end – which will impress any woman. Take the time to select something really nice and damn the cost. She’s worth it!

No Dildos, Period

No matter how close you are with your partner, gifting her a dildo in the shape of another man’s penis is just awkward. Besides, dildos don’t do much of anything for a woman who likes clitoral stimulation (which is just about every woman to be perfectly frank). You might consider the solution to that is one of those clone-your-own-penis kits, where you make a rubber dildo using a mold of your own penis. This can be a fun novelty activity for both of you to do together, but it does not make a nice gift. No dildo makes a nice gift. So stay away from those, period!

Skip Anal Toys Unless You KNOW She Digs Anal Stimulation

Gifting a woman an anal sex toy without knowing for sure whether she’s into the anal action or not is a huge mistake. She’ll assume all you’re trying to do is get busy with her back door and she’ll be offended. It’s almost like if you give her a fishing pole for her birthday – she knows it’s not for her, it’s really for you. And that’s just plain insulting. To be safe, steer clear of any anal stimulation toys unless you’re totally sure she likes it and you’ve had success with it before.

If you do decide to get her something for her bum, make sure it’s something very pretty and very nice. A gorgeous glass plug (on the smaller side, thank you!) is okay, but a huge black thing is totally not okay. Think demure, sweet and sensual. Not nasty and hardcore. This should help lead you in the right direction if you’re sure an anal toy is the right way to go. If you’re not sure, don’t do it.

A Clitoral Vibe Is Almost Always Safe

If you’re not really sure what she likes during sex and you’re nervous about getting her something she’ll like, go for a clitoral vibrator. This type of sex toy is designed only to stimulate the clitoris and doesn’t go in the vagina – it’s a safe bet for almost any woman. The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman’s anatomy, and it often doesn’t get enough love during sex. Many women can only reach orgasm with clitoral stimulation! Giving her a clitoral vibrator as a gift says “I care about your pleasure more than my own. I really want you to feel good!” This is a toy she can use during sex with you, or on her own.

Select something high end and discreet, that looks nice. An excellent choice is the LELO Nea! You pretty much can’t mess up if you select a gorgeous, luxury clitoral vibrator. She’s almost guaranteed to love it.

Get Her Another Gift Also

Even if you’ve chosen a really nice, high quality sex toy to give to her as a gift, consider getting her another gift as well. While a super luxury sex toy is nice enough to be the gift, if you’re not sure how she’ll react, give her another gift as well. Don’t make the sex toy her only gift. Get her something that isn’t sex related, such as jewelry. You really can’t go wrong with jewelry. Chocolates (of the high end variety) are an excellent choice as well, as are gift certificates to her favorite restaurant, or a gift certificate for a full body massage or a pedicure.

Giving her something that you know she’ll like in addition to the sex toy gives you a buffer if she ends up being disappointed. If she likes the toy – and you’ve gotten her something else she’s ecstatic about – she’ll be more inclined to feel like having sex with you (and using her new toy in your presence!)

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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