How Many Dates Should You Wait Before Going All The Way?


When you have sex with someone for the first time, it can be a wonderful new experience. It can also be a bit of a disaster, especially if you rush into things without thinking. Sometimes it can be hard to decide when the timing is right to become physically intimate.

In addition to the pressure you feel from within yourself, you may also be feeling pressure from your new love interest, along with the pressures of societal norms. So how can you tell when to make that next move? A little introspection, a discussion or two with your partner, and the ability to go with your gut can all help.

When Is The Right Time To Have Sex?

The Little Black Book of Sex Positions
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There is a lot of conventional wisdom out there about when to have sex. Some people think you should hold off until marriage, and others think you should just hold off until the third date. Tempting as it can be to take an established rule as your own, the truth is that you’ll only really be happy if you go for it when you feel that you’re ready.

That means that you need to do some serious thinking. Review your past sexual experiences. Do you feel that you’ve jumped into having sex too quickly before, to the detriment of your past relationships? Or has your experience shown you that there’s no need to put things off? Of course, if you have no past experience because this is your first time ever, you’ll have to turn to other methods of determining your readiness.

Deciding What Is Right For YOU

Whether you’re experienced or not, you’re going to want to further check in with yourself. As far as introspection goes, you should do a little pros and cons analysis. What are all of the good things that you’ll get from sleeping together at this particular point in time, and what are the possible negative consequences? If the negatives outweigh the positives, you should probably hold off a bit longer.

You also need to acknowledge that, once you’ve finally had sex, it may not be as spectacular as you’d hoped it would be. If it goes poorly, that could be the end of things. If you’re not ready to run that risk, you may not be ready for sex with this person, either. Some people are into casual sex, and others feel they need to be in love before they can engage in it.

It’s important for you to truthfully acknowledge which side of the line you fall on. Trying to go against your true feelings is a mistake, particularly if you’re someone that needs to be in love. You may feel regret after the fact, which will sully the experience for you.

How Does Your Partner Feel About When To Have Sex?

Once you’ve established how you feel about it and decide that you’re ready, you need to have that conversation with your S.O. Tell them you’re hoping to take things to the next level, but want to know how they feel about it. Plus, as non-romantic as it may be, you should discuss birth control and STD prevention with them.

If one of you isn’t prepared to take the appropriate measures, that person also isn’t ready to be having sex. Once the two of you are on common ground, let things happen as they may. When the mood is right, you’ll both know it. Don’t let yourself worry about what anyone other than you and your partner think, whether you sleep together on your first date or your wedding night. Clear up all of your worries in advance, and you’ll have that much more energy to focus on enjoying your first time.

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
(Now Available on Amazon!)

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