How to Meet Women in Coffee Shops


Going to get coffee is almost as much of a staple of human behavior as going to the grocery store.  With a Starbucks on almost every corner (and an independent coffee shop on the corners not occupied by Starbucks), coffee beverages are everywhere.

Gone are the days when people would ask “what’s a cappuccino” These days people argue over what ingredients are supposed to be in a Macchiato and which ingredients are not.

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Since you probably spend a good portion of your day waiting in line at your local coffee shop, you have probably spent some time thinking about whether or not it is a place in which you can meet women.  Here is the good news:  It is possible to meet women in coffee shops!

It is even possible to meet women in coffee shops and get them to meet you again—in someplace that doesn’t smell like Sumatra.  Here are some tips to help you meet women in coffee shops.

Be Gracious

If she is having trouble deciding what to order from the menu and turns to apologize, always be gracious.  She is probably feeling very embarrassed.  If she is truly sorry you can offer to help her decide what to order.  Sentences like “I come here all the time, what were you thinking of ordering? I can tell you if it’s good or not,” are good openers.

This can work in the opposite situation.  If you can’t make up your mind, you can ask the woman behind you what kind of coffee drinks she likes and then you have the bonus option of buying her coffee “to make up for taking so long to decide.

Be Cautious

If she is alone and reading or writing in a journal, approach with caution.  People like to do these things without being interrupted, even if they are in the middle of a busy and noisy coffee shop.  This rule can be voided if there aren’t any empty tables to claim for yourself.

If she looks up from her book a lot, a good way to meet her is to ask what she is reading and what she thinks of it.  Be honest when she asks if you have read it or have read other books like it.  Lying about what you read will come back and bite you later.

Be Polite

When you are standing next to a woman at the sugar stand, you can ask her to pass you something—you can easily play it off as being polite—you didn’t want to get in her way.  Politeness goes a long way with women.  The same is true for if she is reaching for something closer to your side of the stand.  Grab it for her with a simple “here you go.”  And the conversation can go from there.

Be Bold

If you are feeling bold, you can always sit down next to her table and if she is having a conversation with someone, you can interject your own opinion and then join in the conversation.  This is something with which you should be cautious.

Not all groups of people are going to want to open up their conversation to the person at the next table, and if she is with a group of women, you need to be extra careful.

Be Helpful

If you are walking toward the trash can or the bussing station with your coffee cup, walk past her table and offer to take her empty coffee cup up with yours.  Then, when you go back by her table, you can pause for a chat.

Be Complimentary

If the woman you want to talk to is working at the coffee shop as the Barista, always compliment her on the coffee—even if she just poured it from a carafe.  This simple compliment when followed by a thank you will go a long way.

If you are shy, you can make a habit of going to that coffee shop while she is working.  Eventually you will be familiar enough with each other that a conversation will happen all on its own.  Toe this line carefully, though.  The line between “fun regular customer” and “creepy stalker guy” is a fine one and easy to cross.

Coffee shops can be intimidating places, even for men who are not trying to meet women there.  The good news is it is possible to meet women in a coffee shop.  You just have to be a little bit creative and a lot brave and, in many cases, you have to initiate the conversation.

To find out more, sign up for Joseph Matthews’ free Meet Women Secrets newsletter for all the most recent tips and methods for meeting and seducing women.

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