Flirting: Your Guide For Learning How To Flirt


Flirting isn’t always obvious – in fact, it can often be completely inconspicuous. There you are, in line at the grocery store when a very attractive person brushes up against you accidentally – or so you think.

How can you be sure? You can’t right away, so you look again and try and make eye contact this time. First, to see if what you thought you saw was an attractive person, and then next (if you still think so), to see if the brush might have been deliberate.

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But how can you tell with a look? Maybe they were off-balance, or the person behind them bumped into them, or maybe they are nearsighted and left their glasses in the car. Before you make another move, I know you realize a lot is at stake here; what you do (or don’t do) in the next 30 seconds could change your life…forever.

The Flirting Basics (Quiz)

Take this quiz and see what you know about flirting – answer true or false! Then add up your answers below:

  1. When someone goes out of their way to talk to me, they are flirting.
  2. When someone makes prolonged eye contact (more than three seconds), they want my attention.
  3. When a woman is flirting, it’s obvious.
  4. When a man is overtly flirting, he generally has only sex on his mind.
  5. There’s a difference between being flirtatious and flirting.
  6. There are right ways and wrong ways to flirt.
  7. Saying inappropriate things in the name of flirting is acceptable.
  8. Flirting when you’re in a committed relationship is fine as long as you don’t act on it.

Tips On How To Engage In Healthy, Fun Flirting

So first things first, and at the top of the list when it comes to having healthy, fun flirting you need to ask yourself: What are your intentions? That’s right, what do you want?

If you want a real relationship for example, and you do find yourself in close proximity of someone you find attractive, naturally one of the first things you’ll do is scan that person for signs that they are available – a wedding ring or in this scenario, baby formula in the basket, wife or children in tow, etc. – before you make a move.

Flirting Safely

The next step, once you’re clear that you are in fact looking for that special someone is to think about being safe. You really can’t be too careful these days. So when you find you are attracted to someone, make sure you pay close attention to your body cues and all the signs that make you feel secure and safe, especially if you are the one being approached.

Whether you are at a grocery store/bar/gym/party, take time to check in to those cues that register beneath the surface of whatever seems so compelling; his or her awesome butt or radiant aura. Everybody gives off a vibe; make sure you check theirs out good!

Getting Down To Business

And the third step, the fun part, the actual flirting – there is nothing to worry about here at all. Sure you say, easy for you to say. Nawww, it’s in your blood. It’s in everyone’s. It’s built right into your nature, meaning it’s practically foolproof, ‘cause half the time you’re sending signals without even realizing.

It’s about paying attention and practicing; a little brushing up never hurt anyone (since most of us freeze up when this unconscious behavior suddenly becomes conscious). That reflexive look, that urge to see who was brushing up against you and why, IS flirting at its very base!

In the grocery store, it could be as simple as another attempt at making eye contact, holding your gaze for three or more seconds and smiling. Really, that’s it. The rest is as easy as finding something sincere and authentic in the moment to say, and you’re halfway there.

Don’t be afraid to get out there and practice connecting, just keep these three basics in your tool belt: what’s your intention (what do you want), be safe, and know that flirting is natural and part of your instinctive makeup!

"The Little Black Book of Sex Positions"

by Dan & Jennifer
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