How To Tell If He – Or She – Is Interested In You


We’ve all heard the old cliché before—women are from Venus, men are from Mars. People wouldn’t say it if it weren’t at least partially true, right? Guys and girls may have a lot in common, but both genders certainly have their differences—not least of all when it comes to our dating skills and the way we communicate with each other. That being the case, how are the gents supposed to know when the ladies are into them? How can a woman be certain that the man she’s interested in is attracted to her?

Is She Into You?

Let’s start with the ladies. There are many different ways that women can indicate their interest in men. Some of their actions are thought out and intentional, some done entirely on a subconscious level. Imagine you, a guy, are at a friend’s party. You start talking with one of the girls there that you’ve not met before, and she’s flirting with you. She’s laughing at your jokes, asking you a lot of questions about yourself, maybe even making a point to touch your arm or shoulder once or twice during the conversation.

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All of these are classic signs that she’s into you. Some women like to play hard to get, though, so if she walks off after several minutes of flirting, don’t automatically assume it’s over. Take note—even when she’s across the room talking to other people, does she glance over at you from time to time? Does she seem less animated when she’s talking with other guys than when she was talking to you? If so, you’re still on her mind—she’s just trying not to look too overly interested for fear you may think she’s desperate.

Some girls may also playfully tease you if they’re interested, so if she jokes about you and then leans in close to laugh, she clearly likes you. If a woman isn’t interested in you, she’ll try to be subtle about it at first. She’s not going to be mean to you, but she’ll probably do her best to keep from being alone with you. That may mean calling over a friend to join the conversation, or walking off the minute she gets a chance. If she’s taken, she’ll also make a point of bringing up her boyfriend or spouse pretty early on in the conversation. If she’s not taken, she may casually mention having feelings for some other guy (or, if he’s near, start flirting with him right in front of you).

Is He Into You?

So what if you’re the girl at the party teasing the fellow—how can you judge whether or not you’ve got him intrigued? Guys aren’t as subtle as girls can be, so that definitely helps out. If a guy is spending a lot of time talking to you, and, more importantly, actually listening to what you have to say, that’s a pretty good sign he finds you attractive. If he’s really turning on the charm (cracking jokes, flashing big grins, leaning in toward you a lot when he’s talking), then he is definitely interested in you.

But maybe the guy you’re conversing with is a tad on the shy side, so he’s not doing too much talking. As you interact with him, do you notice him increasingly coming out of his shell? Maybe at first you’re doing more of the talking, but the minute you hit on a common topic, he perks up and starts talking more in return. Any indication that he’s feeling more at ease with you than other people in the room is a good sign that he likes you. Shy (or just quiet) guys won’t open up for just anybody. Whether a guy is more bold or not, take note of how engaged he truly is in your conversation.

Men can’t hide their boredom as well as women do, and if he’s not interested, he won’t be making a lot of eye contact with you. Instead, he’ll be too busy looking around for an excuse to step away from you. Boys also tend to step up their manners a bit when they first meet a girl they’re attracted to—he’ll try to be on his best behavior to impress you. If he’s belching, making a lot of crude jokes or, worst of all, making crass remarks about other girls in the room, odds are good that he doesn’t think you’re a potential date.

How To Tell When He – Or She – Is NOT Into You

If all goes well in your first encounter, and you exchange phone numbers, know this– a lot of guys really do believe you should wait three to five days before calling a girl you’ve just met. This is a ridiculous but popular “rule,” so ladies, don’t get too offended if it takes a few days for them to reach out. If more than a week passes by though, it’s pretty safe to assume they’re not interested in you.

Men, some women will definitely call you within a day or two of the first date if they’re really interested. However, a lot of other women are still a little old-fashioned when it comes to phone etiquette, and would prefer for the guy to make the first move. So if she doesn’t call you in a few days, just call her. Don’t let it make you think she’s not attracted to you. If she screens your calls and doesn’t pick up, that is, of course, a whole other story.

There is one final telltale sign of attraction that both the guys and the gals can’t help but display. If you’re trying to figure out if he or she has the hots for you, look into his/her eyes. As mentioned in the article “How to Read His Body Language” by Amber Madison on Shine from Yahoo, when you’re attracted to someone, your pupils dilate and become larger than normal. So take a good long look into your potential paramour’s peepers, and you may just find the evidence you’re looking for!

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